Bowels, Bathing & Hygiene

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My father was diagnosed with Alzheimers/dementia and we have had many issues with urinary and bowel problems. He has agreed to wear diapers however our issue is that he has bowel obsession. He expects to go everyday and usually he does. It's when he does that we have problems. He wipes himself but gets feces all over his hand then it's all over him, the toilet walls, bathroom counters etc. Anyone have any suggestions?On top of this problem he refuses to shower so needless to say he can get very ripe smelling. He will only get into the shower for my brother who cannot be there all the time.


Sorry, the heading was supposed to say, Bowels, Bathing & Hygiene
Get his Dr. to order Home Health Care, they can bathe him at least twice a week. If he won't let you help him, then call someone who can... no one has to live with that stench simply because he is stubborn, and will he let you in the bathroom soon after his BM? I would tell him I was going to help him, he may not like it, but cleaning poo off the walls, well you don't like that either... It just amazes me how much power these old folks have to make us totally insane.... hugs to you...
Thanks for your response. My dad is on Kaiser health plan. Do you know if they will cover home health care for hygiene purposes? We have someone come in at lunch time every day to give him lunch and do clean up, then we cover late afternoon-evening and weekends. The lunch time caregivers have had no success. He absolutely refuses anyones help.
Beck, how about using wipes instead of toilet paper? They're bigger, I just don't know if they can be flushed is all. And how about your brother calling his dad and telling him it's time to take a shower. Or tell your dad that his son told you to tell him to take a shower? Since your brother seems to be the one dad listens to about the shower, then I wouldn't hesitate to play the 'brother card' if I were you. Be sure to get your brother on board with that if dad were to ask him.
I'll try your suggestions, however my dad is VERY stubborn. We are moving my dad into a board and care in 2 weeks as we feel he should have 24 hour care and it's less expensive to do that outside the home. We'll see how it all works out? Thanks
My Mother is having bowel issues. Her bathroom is terrible and poo seems to be everywhere. On the seat, floors, walls, soap dish, and under her fingernails. My sister has spoken to her about this before but it did not work I guess. We will talk her Doctor and see what they say I guess. Will have a talk with Mother together and suggest assisted living if she can't keep herself clean. Any suggestions on how to bring uo this subject.
I have been caring for my aunt for 15+ yrs. She was recently very ill and had to be hospitalized. Through this, she is showing signs of dementia, mild to moderate. Her personal hygiene is horrible. She is constantly incontinent and when she uses the bathroom, she, too, has feces on the floor, seat, lid and gets very obnoxious when I remind her to wash her hands. I am the one who cleans up after her but she has become very nasty. I'm exhausted. I feel like all I do is wash my bathroom and scrub carpeting that is fairly new. She wears sanitary pads and just puts them uncovered in the trash. The smell in our suite is getting horrid. She has been staying with us until she is able to care for herself at home which I am afraid that will never happen. If she cannot keep herself clean here, what will happen when she is on her own. I cannot run down all day and clean up her bathroom, etc. The VNA visits for about 15 mins. Any suggestion would be welcome. She informed me that she wants to go to her apt. so she can stay in bed! This is not a good sign....
Thank you all for sharing [what is personally offensive and private] it's let me know there are others like me out there! I am my mother's caregiver, and have been for just over a year, and in that year I have seen a steady steep decline in her. From memory of words and people [she never calls me by name] to her inability to remember where her room is [in a house she has lived in for 50 years] -and- especially her inability to recognize bladder and bowel "signals" and do something about it. I feel I can't leave her at all, if I'm here with her at the kitchen table surfing the net etc. I can "catch" her initial response to that signal, she attempts to stand up, if I jump up and get her moving in the right direction, all the way to the bathroom she manages just fine, no accidents. But is it reasonable to expect me or a hired caregiver to "eagle-eye" her that way day after day after day. If not she sits right there at the kitchen table and "goes" in her Depends [I went that way a long time ago, praise be she didn't put up a fight over those]. So my question is can I get part time care [I have been using my grandchildren, when available which under these new circumstances won't do at all] who will either "bird-dog" her or clean up the mess after an accident?
my mum isn't at that point. She is 68 and in a nursing facility due stage 3b inoperable lung cancer. I have been flipping our at the just the bathing issue. I go into her bathroom sometimes and it is pretty bad. I do her laundry as far as clothing and it gets very bad. She worries to damned much about her looks, then does not bathe. She calls ne a nut, because I want things, spit spot. I am not that bad but I do want her clean her bathroom her clothes and her bed. I go into her facility and beg the staff when I take her out to radiation to PLEASE clean up the room. I have gagged so many times.

I agree on the wipes thing, if I could I would install a buddy. Everyone laughed at them, but the are extremely useful. Sounds like a visiting Angel twice a week maybe to assist?

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