I'm a thief!

Started by

My father has been accusing me of stealing his jewelry for years. I keep trying to defend my honor, and why he only accuses me, I don't know, as I have a sister who is his primary caretaker, and she has combination numbers, etc. I have none of that, but for some reason, when he loses something, I'm guilty, no matter how hard I protest. It's so very hard to hear, and I'm at the point where I just want to cut ties with him completely. What do I do.


get a hidden camera install and hide it discreetly and see who is actually taking the jewelry ...then button up after u call the cops if its ur sister and play it for ur dad and if he still assumes u then get another record ...ur name doesnt need to be in the mud but if someone is stealing ur father's jewelry better find out now and not later...take action...do not by stymied with the fact ur sister is caring for him may be doing something wrong...sooner its done sooner u can get it back and ease his mind if that doesnt work then possible dementia...
Could be that he can't remember anymore, so he'll move something and think it's been stolen. I'd help him look for stuff, and if you honestly can not find it, then I'd install the hidden camera.
I think this is a common theme - 'where is my'?? and if I can't find it immediately, then I'd better have an answer. Now my Momma doesn't usually accuse me of stealing stuff (yet) but her dementia is becoming quite advanced. Does your sister have his items stored out of sight, in a safe place? You might ask her if it's ok to tell him that the items are in a safe deposit box or in a hidden safe in the house. If it isn't the jewelry, it'll be something else. You may not need to go to the expense of a camera at that point. Are there particular pieces he can have to wear and then everyone will be out of hot water? Take care - when it comes to fears that dementia creates, you really cannot take it personally.
Thank you all for your input. Naheaton, I think you hit the nail on the head. He puts things away and that's it. He forgets where, and then a temporary caretaker, or cleaning lady finds it? Who knows! I'm so tired of being the scapegoat, though. My sister and I have always been the ones to care for him, especially my sis, and he has never appreciated either one of us, always bellyaching about how worthless we are. It's really enough to drive one mad. He's going to be 99 next month, so I'm sure there's some dementia setting it, as well, but we're ready to institutionalize him at this point.

Keep the conversation going (or start a new one)

Please enter your Comment

Ask a Question

Reach thousands of elder care experts and family caregivers
Get answers in 10 minutes or less
Receive personalized caregiving advice and support