Caregiver1963, no one is abusing my mother, thank goodness!, so I have no personal experience to share.
If I were in your situation I think I'd all APS, explain the situation, and ask for a welfare check on Mother. If Mother claims all is well and that there is no problem then there may not be anything they can do. But it would put me on record as being concerned and not approving of the situation.
You say your mom has general age-related decline. You do not mention dementia or mental health issues. If she is willing to accept abusive behavior from some of her children there may not be much you can do about it. But that doesn't mean you have to accept abuse from her. "Mother, call me another time when you are feeling more charitable. This conversation is over now." And hang up.
Okay so I created this to see if there are others in the same boat. I have found my mother mentally destroyed and physically sick after my sibling has gone at her over the phone with abusive rants. Our mother has voiced fear of setting this sibling off. Now as a way to get the other sibling to stop our mother has fired me as her caregiver, has rejected my kids and has told me to get lost. She phoned me a couple days back and proceeded to come at me like the sibling comes at her over the phone and has informed me if the garbage needs to be taken out maybe she'll call or maybe I can call once in a while however other than that she cannot mention us or leave anything around her home to indicate we were ever there. She also took my care plan that had her bp normal, blood sugar normal and back to her old energy and excellent health , and threw it away so now she has deteriorated mentally and is too physically sick to function and her bowel and bladder issues have returned in severe form. She feels too sick to eat.
If I were in your situation I think I'd all APS, explain the situation, and ask for a welfare check on Mother. If Mother claims all is well and that there is no problem then there may not be anything they can do. But it would put me on record as being concerned and not approving of the situation.
You say your mom has general age-related decline. You do not mention dementia or mental health issues. If she is willing to accept abusive behavior from some of her children there may not be much you can do about it. But that doesn't mean you have to accept abuse from her. "Mother, call me another time when you are feeling more charitable. This conversation is over now." And hang up.