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...or is that an oxymoron? This weekend was IT for me. Since attempting to be my father's caregiver, my life took a downward spiral... FAST.

My relationship (if there still is one) is on the rocks. I'm COMPLETELY exhausted. The once, happy-go-lucky, fit, positive person I once was has been replaced by a mean, negative miserable bitter woman. I don't even like myself. I'm moody and needy and just not fun to be around. This HAS to stop.

So... I had Daddy in a IL facility AND Adult Day care. That was ridiculously expensive, especially because Daddy never took advantage of the amenities of the IL. He stayed quarantined in his apartment... it just didn't make good financial sense.

About two months ago, he started whining about not wanting to be alone at night. I thought being in an IL facility would fix this since he still had people around him in the building. No... he wants someone in the room with him to annoy (ooops, I mean talk to) as he paces the floor... all night long.

So... being the good daughter I found someone to spend Monday through Thursday nights with him, but it was expensive and she was a bit greedy. I now have a new person on duty, but she's already asking for more money.

Here's the thing... we can't AFFORD the going price for overnight care. If Daddy needed lots of care, I could see it, but he just wants companionship at night (I could say SO much about how his life choices have placed him in this situation... yet I digress).

I was attempting to do the overnight shift on the weekends, but it has been a nightmare. Considering that's the only time my BF (he may be an ex now... not sure) and I would have to spend ALONE together, its taken its toll on the relationship and now I'M MAD!!!!!!!!!

What other alternatives do I have? I decided this past weekend that I will NOT do this anymore.

Any suggestions where I could locate reasonable, HONEST, decent overnight companionship for a grumpy old insomniac?

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I hope you have your POA etc all set up, see an elder affairs attorney
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Tinyblu,
There was a problem with my grandma, up at all hours of the night. They found her on the ground in a parking garage, she was ok, just bruised, which prompted a review of her medications. They discovered that medications they gave her during the day made her sleepy so she napped a good portion of the day. So, naturally she was up all night. When they adjusted the meds she was actually able to get a good night sleep. If dad's meds are ok, what about adding something just to help him unwind so he can possibly relax and get some sleep?
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Your father may have an anxiety issue. I had to hire an overnight sitter for a while.....eventually he did not want to have to spend money on that and watched TV, eventually he would fall asleep.

Maybe meds could work.
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Independent Living = IL

In my area overnight care, if the caregiver is able to sleep five hours and has a place provided to do that, is paid $17.00 an hour through an agency. If there is not a place for them to sleep, even a la-z-boy, the rate goes up to $20.00 an hour. If caregiver HAS to stay awake the rate goes up to $23.00 an hour. Definitely not cheap!

But we did find a person through one of the caregivers at mom's day care that just wanted to make some extra money aside from her regular job with the schools that charged $25.00 for the entire night as long as she was able to sleep and Mom was not up and down too much. So, ask around at the daycare to see if anybody knows somebody that wants to make some overnight extra money. But is you dad is as active through the night as you make it sound, the caregiver will want to be compensated appropriately, and justifiably so.
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I have a question, what is an "IL" is that something like an Assisted living facility? In general I don't know know what the going rate is for "awake all night " caregiver but in my major metro area
, a regular caregiver is $29/hr with a 3-hr minimum. I suspect an over nite caregiver would assume they could be quietly doing something else while the senior was supposedly sleeping, and if your dad is interfering with them being able to surf the internet, then they want to be paid a full daytime rate. But I have never had to hire over nite help.
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