I've found myself easing my stress as a caregiver with 2 or 3 beers a day.

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I don't get drunk but it takes the edge off. I take excellent care of my husband but i know this is wrong. Is there anyone else out there that can relate and help me. Being a Christian i feel like my faith should be my strength and so i feel so guilty.


maxine, I don't think there is anything wrong with having a drink, or maybe two on certain days. But if it is starting to feel like self medicating, then it can be a problem. If you feel it is becoming a problem, then I suspect it may be. Is there a way you can limit it to one? Then maybe if you feel you want another drink, get a glass of water or a bottle of tea? Sometimes I drink a bottle of Lipton green tea in the evening. It is tasty and seems like I am rewarding myself.
Why is it wrong? Many health experts feel that a couple of beers or wine a day is healthy. (Not if you can't stop at a couple and not if that amount impairs your judgment, but in general a little alcohol might be good for us.)

In my opinion, it would be wrong if you can't afford it and you are buying beer instead of wholesome food or medicines. Or if you can't afford the calories and you are gaining weight, putting your health at risk. (The same thing could be said of potato chips or chocolate bars.)

It would be wrong (in my opinion) if the amount you drink impairs your judgment or your actions and causes you to take less good care of your husband.

It would be wrong to drink and drive.

It might be counterproductive if you have sleep issues. Beer might make you sleepy, but alcohol isn't conducive to restful sleep.

If you belong to a religion that opposes alcohol altogether, then you have to make a decision whether you agree with that particular tenet, and if you do, then drinking beer is wrong.

But if you like the taste of beer, you like the way it helps you relax, you can afford it, and you are careful to respect your limits, I personally don't think it is wrong. Perhaps your faith should be your strength. Is beer giving you strength? Or is it just a small pleasure in a difficult and often unpleasant situation? Is it really replacing or rivaling your faith, or is it just a brief period of human enjoyment? As I see it, you can rely on your faith and also enjoy a beer or a candy bar or a back rub. Treating yourself to something that you enjoy doesn't lessen your faith, does it?

Here is the one thing I worry about, a little. If 2 or 3 beers ease your day now, what will happen if the caregiving gets more stressful? Will it then be 3 or 4 beers a day? And then creep up to 4 or 5?

In very moderate amounts, alcohol can apparently be good for us. But it also has the potential for creating a lot of health and social problems when used beyond moderation. Obviously I don't know your size, but I think generally 1 or 2 drinks is considered moderate for women. Maybe try to cut back to that, and see if how that goes.

I don't drink alcohol, because of 2 drugs I am on. (Darn!) But my husband enjoyed beer and wine. His geriatrician and his neurologist both said it was fine for him to continue to enjoy 1 or 2 drinks a day throughout the nine years of his dementia. Dementia takes a way so much, his doctors and I wanted to avoid depriving him of any pleasure that was still available to him.

I know firsthand that there a lot of sacrifices and deprivations that go with caring for a spouse. I don't see any reason to deprive ourselves of harmless pleasures. Just watch very carefully that they stay harmless.

Hugs to you!

Don't feel quilty, being a caregiver is hard, I have been doing it for over 5 years, I don't drink, but have high axiety and major depression so I take 6mg of xanax a day, it helps with the axiety and helps me to get some sleep
I'm the caregiver for my 97 yr old father. He always has one drink of vodka and tonic at dinner time. I do the same. I look forward to having that drink at the end of the day while preparing dinner. Equally, I look forward to a cup of tea after that with my dinner. Like everything else only in moderation.
Why don't you try finding a substitute to help you to relax. (Because if you're thinking that 2 or 3 beers is too much, then it's prodding your conscience and THAT might cause you more stress) Can you find a tea that you like and use a special pretty cup? Can you get out of the house ... even if it's to sit on the front steps (my own special trick) or go into a closed room and call a friend? We definitely need to find something to help us to relax and you don't seem comfortable with the method you're currently using ... so try something else.
You have to get some help in there a couple days a week,so you can have some time for you!!Know drinking.There are alot of agencys out there.Ask for help.
Do you feel the need to drink during the day? Do you often drink alone? Do you feel sad when you drink? Etc., etc.
When I was pregnant with my first child 36 years ago, my doctor recommended that I have a glass of red wine when I came home from work. I did. Now if you are even thinking about getting pregnant you aren't supposed to have anything alcohol. I think doctors are terrified to recommend what they used to because a lot of people either don't have a lick of common sense and a 4 oz. glass of wine or one beer turns into a case or a whole bottle. Or, people are so sue happy they immediately want to blame their doctors if anything goes awry. Point being, have your eyes wide open and be honest with yourself, but if you enjoy a couple of beers I personally don't see anything wrong with it. Make sure you are also caring for yourself in the way you eat, make sure you don't become isolated/have balance socially in your life, make sure you exercise. Could be that if you are worried about how much you consume then you are feeling like it's too much. But if you are feeling fine and doing other things to ease stress and relax as well, I say lighten up on yourself a bit. And don't drive if you are drinking anything.
Hey there! I understand your need to relax,I myself am stressed out too.However I am an alcoholic,a sober one,for over 12 years.If you think you have a problem,you probably do.Take it easy.Check out an AA meeting if you need help.
I so understand this post...I am not drinking beer, I am eating, sometimes I feel out of control with it. And it's like I can't stop. Even on days where my stress level isn't high, I still eat. I think it's because eating is something I can control if that makes sense. I can't control anything that goes on with my Mother. But I can control the eating for emotional relief. And oddly, I can not contro stopping it. So frustrating to me.
I personally wouldn't use alcohol for stress, but I do not enjoy the taste of it nor how it effects me.
That being said.....what I do use is medicinal cannabis (legally), in moderation, to relax and for anxiety and insomnia. I also meditate, use aromatherapy, bach flower remedies, herbal teas and avoid caffeine, sugar, flour, gluten, refined foods and non-organic foods. It's amazing how ones diet can either enhance or relieve stress and anxiety. Also walking for 30 minutes to an hour every day really helps.

If having a couple beers a day is what gets you through the day and keeps your sanity in check, it's not for me to say you shouldn't drink them. I would although, be aware if your 2-3 beers escalates to more and more.
You may want to try other forms of stress relief as well. You may find they are more useful.
Best wishes!!!

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