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As an Retired RN I want to reverse it. Started during very stressful time. My daughter thinks I'm ungrateful and rude and she never wants to see me again. She doesn't understand. My son does. Now I have to move from high maintainence house. I had foreclosure 2010and lost all my savings. Daughter moved me here . It's awful. I cry at least 5 X day. Treated for depression also.
It's been a year since speaking to her. I'm trying to move on. She lives close by. See grandsons only at my insistence. Really need a support group. Please help. Live in California. Thanks. B

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Some m mistakes in the wording of the last column I'm using the Teleprompter to get my words on tape on this letter. Number one I guess in all of this is I need help around the house and I can't pay much because I'm only making 22,000 year . I need help with the deck because it's really dangerous and my daughter and her husband will not help or even finance finance it. I'm looking for another apartment in the Kaiser area and I'm thinking of Roseville I have looked there before and they may have something I can feel comfortable in that all these places have waiting lists. I'm totally on overload and could really use some help but I can't pay for much and I cannot have Medi-Cal due to a small step ahead I'm getting from a trust that has to be renewed each year. They won't allow any government assistance or they won't give me the money from the trust. If I do need an able to move I will need extra help because now my family won't help me except my son. I'm trying to get rid of a lot of stuff every day but it's hard to get weed through pictures and albums and books that I so dearly love. If you have any suggestions to help me especially in the house and boxing things up cleaning the house and vacuuming so I can't do anymore and having a little companionship so I don't have anymore I think I'm going crazy. I know this is long these two Posts and I sorry. I'm one step from letting this all go. Love you guys.....
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Hi all you wonderful people. I'm a mess. Dr changed Meds and I'm worse than before. She wanted to give Inderol a heart med to slow my heart so I can relax? Only has one small sentence in brochure recommend it. Too scarey for this 71 Year old. So now taking Ambilify. With Seraquil. Have cried all day. No reason really. Sad though not able tomorrow to Grass Valley. No Kaiser insurance up their. Very sad .
What's pulling of oil. I'll try the rest. Thank you. Can I print this to follow?

Another bad issue I pain in wrists and back ache area not bone, with hip and outer thigh pain. I used lidocaine patches which helped. Leg cramps are awful. Might as well through me under the bus.
I need help around the house. Very badly. It's hard to get around and clean house and do the laundry and do the kitchen floor when my back and shoulders and wrists are hurting so bad and I'm so depressed and cry all the time. The deck on my mobile home is falling apart I have to put a sign not to walk on it because it will fall in I've tried for help and there's long on forms to fill out and then they tell me they account to do the steps not the balcony it's not very big so but it's all rusted and has algae and whatever they call that underneath inside the room. My daughter won't do anything about it and it's dangerous
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Bev,
How are you?

M88
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Found this on earth care:
Posted By Mary Jane (San Antonio) on 05/31/2015:

[YEA] I had pain in my left side of my tongue for over 2 week... Was taking 4 Advil to help with the pain every 4 hours. I was using ice pack and heat. Couldn't eat, sleep are talk due to the pain. Lost 8 pounds... I made a promised to my self if I found a way to stop the pain I would let other people know...
What I did to stop the pain:

I started oil pulling with olive oil every other night for about 15 to 30 min. Than I did the same with baking soda every night for 1 minute than spit it out... Every morning I would gargle with milk of magnesia than spit it out. That what I did and I'm still doing it. No more pain.

I don't know what oil pulling is.

Disclaimer:
This is for informational purposes only. I am not a health care provider, nor do I endorse any treatment. Research and consult your doctor.

M88 (had to disclaimer.... best practice for all involved).
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Glossodynia... I'm googling it. Does your insurance cover homeopathy or acupuncture?
Would you be willing to give those alternative therapies a try?

Husband (ex?) and daughter own the trailer, but won't fix porch or steps? Why?

Grass Valley, I understand is flat out gorgeous! I sure hope you can attain your goal to get there!

Short term - doable goals -improve mood and bring a sense of accomplishment.

One box per day. Pack, sort, keep, dump. One box next day.

Talk to you tomorrow. I have depression too. Caring for mom and hubby. I have begun mourning their loss, while they are here, alive and sort of well. I do take my meds, and I can manage day 2 day.

:^) M88
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jeanniegibbs
Your words give me hope. Thank you.
To all of those who are helping me find myself again behind all the issues I have and have had thank you. I really am humbled and feel you care for me. It helps me feel I'm not alone in all this.
One step at a time.

My place needs cleaning as most things need bending. How can I find help. I've tried regular housecleaning but got too expensive. I thought I was moving so things are in disarray.
This place I live- very old mobile home, is hard to keep up.
Also my front porch is falling in as are the steps. Sign on it now. Very expensive to replace. My daughter and husband who own it will not replace it. So? Looking for an apartment . At least landlord would fix things for me. I've been looking for a year now for low income nice area. Here I am next to the worst street for crime, and gun Fire..police are here often though it's improving. Citrus Heights, ca.
Beverlee
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Beverlee, it is my understanding that MCI is not necessarily "early dementia." Often it is dementia and there isn't enough evidence to diagnose the dementia yet. But sometimes it does not progress, as dementia does. Sometimes it remains mild cognitive impairment indefinitely.
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Thank you all so much. I feel I've walked into a room of close friends and feel blessed.
I tried to move closer to my son in Grass Valley and had it all planned and still haven't told them , but will this week , but I can't get my Kaiser Insurance up there. So sad still. I have very discounted care so I would never be able to find better insurance financially. I raised my two children up there. Like home for me. Thought God wanted me to be there????im a very spiritual person but just don't understand this one.
Thank you all for listening to me. I do have good things in my life.
Just in case any of you know any treatment, I have Glossodynia. Burning mouth syndrome now on my lips and going into nose... Can't find cure or treatment. Intensity changes but bad when I'm more stressed. With the depression and early dementia. No MD knows how to treat it accept Lidocaine wash. Maybe you know someone who has a cure or treatment?
Am I saying too much?should stay on topic.
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Don't tweak your own meds, even though you're capable.

Let the MDs handle it.

Your son, when was the last time he visited you at the trailer? Can he and his wife? Friends? Buddies? Cousins? Come over and do what you need most?

I am in California too, central san joaquin valley.

We're going to be honest with you and be as supportive and resourceful as we possibly can.

Hugs,
M88
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Ask a neighbor to walk with you-that is your support group. Do they have Bingo-if your trailer is in a mobilehome park? Go to Bingo-anyway, just once-to meet people.
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Clean your home as well as you can. Please do not give up! Where in California?
Sometimes we can look things up for you, when even that can be too much.
You need a friend!
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Beverlee,
There are Senior Center handi-workers programs that will come out and fix some things for you, free. A proper environment can help you feel better.
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If your lower back issues allow, try to work a daily walk into your routine. The fresh air and movement are will boost your mind. Over time, the walks will boost your energy, too :-)
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Beverlee living in an old trailer is not the best environment for you as i am sure you know well. Don't think I would not be too grateful about that either. I don't know where you live but can you go to social services and see if there is any accommodation you can rent based on your income which I assume is pretty limited at this point. Your psychologist may be able to advise you about that.

Have your son help you because you seem closest to him and just stay away from your daughter till you get yourself better situated.

You have been through an awful lot recently and like physical illnesses psychological yes take a lot out of you especially as we age. All of this can account for your memory lapses and confusion. The advice to write things down as soon as you think of them is very sound.

Are you ready to volunteer for something.Maybe something like dog walking at the local rescue if you don't want to socialize just yet. Many RNs find volunteering for hospice is very rewarding and keep you connected to healthcare. It can be something as simple as sitting with a patient while the caregiver goes shopping for a couple of hours. There is a training program and you are never asked to do anything skillful. perhaps read, write letters or play games.
Try keeping post it notes all over the house so there is always somewhere to take notes.

You have taken a good first step by coming here and i am sure you will start on the road to recovery very soon.
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Sorry I'll stay on topic.
I do appreciate the comments about forgetfulness. Some of my meds may cause it to. Im on too much and am trying to get off some. I'm seeing psychologist and psychiatrist. When I forget the name of something it helps to go thru alphabet and/or think of something else for abit and sometimes will go back and remember. I try to tell people to give me time to think. I do write things down and use cell phone notes to remind me. I know I'm not alone. I was Told by Neuro nurse to write with other hand, sing, dance, place games, socialize, and read. I try to memorize sayings I like. I hope this can help others too. The RN in me never goes away.
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Thank you so much for your reassurance. My daughter put me in a old mobile home when I went thru foreclosure and lost all my savings. Since I didn't thank her enough she became combative and said she would never speak to me again. It's been a year.
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Hi Bev!
Garden Artist enumerated your stressors in a very logical and practical way.

One thing at a time.

You do have a diagnosis and I would seek to obtain a second opinion.

You're an RN, so understand alot more than most.

Who's in your life that you can count on?

How's it that you are in a trailer?

Would you go the conventional way of psychiatrist, neurologist, or the alternative medicine way?

The reason I ask is that the best way for us to help you, is to understand the situation better.

A wealth of information on how to cope is coming your way. Welcome to the forum. You're not alone.

M88
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I'm 71 Early Cognitive Impairment. was my actually diagnosis that came from written tests I had 8 or so months ago.
I do have trouble doing daily tasks. There are a lot in this run down mobile home which I'm trying to be thankful for but......
I also have to push myself to get out of house. I have Depression and was told meds may be part of the problem. Cried a lot growing up to. But I can be a leader as I've been manager of two home care agencies. Need exercise too.
Thank you all for your encouragement. I don't work as my age and had low back fusion a year ago. I'm trying to be more in the present instead of feeling sad. I've been told and understand I'm co-dependent . I don't get mad very often when family hurts me. I mostly get sad. My son tried talking to my daughter about me and she wouldn't listen. He does not talk to her now. He's been great. Enough about me...
Thanks for your responses. It really helps to know and learn from others who have experienced what I have and how to really see and learn from you.
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I would support FF's query as to whether or not you've self diagnosed dementia or it's been medically diagnosed. You've had multiple serious stressors, any of which alone could cause confusion as well as depression.

Those events are also different in the kind of stress caused. Foreclosure is such a loss of financial control and of one's home - it's overwhelming in the sense that powerful forces are affecting the place you called home and forcing you out into the cold. And once the process is begun, the stress can escalate, creating even more of a feeling of losing control of the basic necessity of having a place to live.

Losing your savings is a slightly different kind of stress, but a serious one as well because it also represents security in terms of having your own home or place to live. And it can affect other aspects of basic survival, again cutting to the basis of your own self confidence and self preservation.

You write that you have to move from a high maintenance house - 2 more stressors. A home that requires a lot of maintenance can create stresses on your time and energy. Moving is a different stress - uprooting and finding another place to live after losing savings creates limited options and like foreclosure undercuts your confidence in being self sufficient and self supporting.

I would contact local hospitals to try to find a depression support group. It would be free, and sometimes social workers participate to offer professional insight.
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i would suggest not obsessing over your blip with your daughter . thats normal family stuff . you slam heads , find each others bounderies , cool off for a few months then out of some kind of necessity ( feigned or otherwise ) you reconnect with a little more respect for each other .
i havent spoken to my oldest son in eight or so months .
aint my problem . the lesson for him to contend with is if his kids are visiting from florida and im not notified or invited up , i come un freaking glued ..
im not depressed . im livid . the two are as different as night and day ..
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Beverlee, most types of dementia develop for some twenty years in the brain before symptoms become obvious. If you do have dementia it has been building for a long time. The episodes of severe stress could have triggered some reactions, I guess, but they would not have caused tangles or plaques or protein bodies to appear in the brain and cause dementia.

True dementia cannot (at the present state-of-the-science) be reserved, but symptoms can often be managed.

I'm suggesting that while there is clearly something going wrong in your brain, it may not be dementia. A thorough evaluation would be worthwhile in establishing a treatment plan.

It might also be worthwhile in establishing better relationships within your family.

During a hospital stay I suffered ICU psychosis. I was delusional and hallucinating. I nearly chased my son out when he visited. I'm sure I hurt his feelings deeply. I was later able to explain to him what was going on, but I'm not sure how much that helped. That is all in the distant past and we are good buddies again. But I do understand and empathize with you that a temporary blip in your mental health can cause rifts in relationships.

I really think your best bet at this point is to have a thorough neurological evaluation. Learn what can be done to manage your symptoms, and how to explain your health to your family.

Please stay in touch here. We care!
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Beverlee, have your been officially diagnosed with dementia? If not, it could be just normal aging? Plus you mentioned it all started during a stressful time. Stress will make you feel befuddled at times, I know it does for me.

For me it is all stress from the past 7 years of dealing with parents in their 90's who were very stubborn, dealing with my own cancer which scared the daylights out of me, and dealing with other stress related illnesses. What was your stressful time? Was it work related as I know RN are under a lot of pressure?

Does your son and your daughter talk to each other? Maybe he can explain what is going on.
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