Help Need Advice about Dysfunction Family..


Ny MIL came to live at my house after being in hospital and nursing home for 2 months she hated NH & my husband couldnt stand seeing her there. She cant take care of herself because of dementia She came Dec 1st Which is when we found out My oldest sister n law had her checkbook been spending money wouldnt give it to my husband Jan. we got POA with other sister name on it & took over not much except she has temporary colostomy & alot of medications and had to get alot of stuff for her she didnt have much. Sister that spending money was spending it on home shopping, her own two girls got 200. each in Dec for christmas crazy stuff anyway of corse she was done with us all dont care whatever dont need us then today I get a thinking of you card from her to her mother saying please call me mother.. YOU HAVe to call me!! Why hasnt she called her I would never not let her see or talk to her mother. WELL My question is I have to give her the card But Do you think I should say hey listen if you want to see your mom no one is stopping you so dont make me out to be bad guy or have to take care of your mom being deppressed after I let her call you and you tell her crazy stuff like she cant call or come here{I let her mom call her on FEB 1st to wish her happy bday & she starteed screamming n crying saying mother they think i stoled your money they are all lying on me mother im not allowed to see you or come to hospital when you have your surgery blah blah upset her mother until she forgot about it... I Dont Know what to do.. Why cant she just quit being a drama queen always has been and she loves to control..

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Thanks for advice made me feel better you are right she has always been control freak and when came down to my MIL she has always been mean to her just she made her mom think she was only one that could or would get things done for her. but she has two daughters one is on frugs and she enables her and says she has to do things for her or she wont get to see grandaughter. crazy things so since I got your advice you helped thanks ....I also pray for you i have read your profile and I bet you have it so rough I have a Aunt that her sister n law has the condition your husband has and she was a nurse & the family depended on her income thats terrible. Hope we get to help each other again thanks so much.. I really dont know whaT I would do if I hadnt found this site!!!!

she is an user and abuser to the t...I have a sister with similar narcissitic qualities. she thinks you are doing the same thing she did when she was the caregiver when she was robbing her own mother blind. You are taking the right steps because this sister wants to glorify all she has done and not admit any wrong. You have the checkbook proving she abused your mothers fund and wouldn't put the icing on the cake if you sue her for the funds back. Let her own guilt eat her an extent ur are fixing the mess she made of your mother's money and health...personally she doesn't deserve to have the piece of cake. If anything talk to her first before u hand the phone to your mom next time she calls and if she isn't gonna keep it cheerful and polite then let her know ahead of time you will hang up. You have to take control from her by not giving in to her and i can see she will try even more stuff btw ur not the bad guy u just had to deal with a sister who only cares about herself not her mother's respect or wishes and after it may be best to cut ties...blood rarely works and sticks together in a crisis i know...