I don't want to visit my dad at the nursing home anymore. Anyone else been through this?
I lived with my dad for almost 2 years taking care of him with the help of my sister. It was a very emotional and trying two years as in that time, my dad tried to commit suicide 3 times. He has been in a nursing home for two years now, the first one two hours away and now one closer to home, only about 20 minutes away. My problem is that I don't want to go visit anymore. I was very good about going before, but as his dementia has gotten worse, I don't want to go. He usually knows who I am, but he has no idea where he is or why he's there and gets angry or cries when I leave and I won't take him with me. He constantly asks if he can come and live with me. He calls me a lot because he thinks he's somewhere else and he needs a ride. I've gotten to the point where I won't even answer the phone anymore when he calls. I sometimes feel guilty because I don't go visit. I work two jobs and the only time I can go is on the weekends. I feel bad because those are the days I catch up on housework, get to see my boyfriend or have things going with my kids. The worst part is I don't even feel guilty for not going to see my dad or answering his phone calls. I am kind of afraid that when he passes, I will feel bad, even though I've done everything I can for him while he was here. When I do go and visit, he never remembers that I've even been there. I don't know what to do anymore.