I'm done with trying to manage her mood.
Today I thought of something that is a worry for me. And I know it is probably a worry for a lot of us when it comes to parents. My mother has problems with her mood. Sometimes she wants to sleep all day and mopes around like she's sick when she's not. Sometimes she is up for a day, then down for two. Caregivers get all kind of advice about how to make our parents feel better -- Antidepressants, anxiolytics, entertainment, friends, daycare, senior centers. At the end we find that it is all the same. It was like a dog chasing its tail and our parent is still not happy.
Today I was pondering geri psych treatment and suddenly realized that I am tired of trying to manage my mother's mood. I've had almost six years of it. If she wanted to do something about her mood, she could have done it herself during her 88 years on earth. I am no longer going to worry about it.
I guess I can think of this as a new boundary. If she wants to be in a grumpy mood, then it's her grumpy mood to feel. I am going to go on with life and not worry about fixing it anymore.