I am disabled and am a caregiver for mom.

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i am disabled and am a caregiver for mom. i live with her. i have no friends just alot of bad memories. i am super sensitive and alone. my brother married a woman who has two estates from people who have died. one is her sister the other her best friend. they left everything to her. her father left her a great deal of money when he died as well.she has a great job with great benefits and is in good health. she has two houses. my brother helps us drive to my dr appointments, store, etc. my mother and i rent from people who use comments to us everytime they come in contact with us. i can't take it anymore. this house inside is falling apart. it needs repairs. i have nothing . my health is bad. i have alot of health issues. my sisterinlaw won't come to visit us. we make her uncomfortable i guess. we don't know if we did anything to her. we don't know her.............my brother goes along with her. he said i will tell her about our one house if you can live in it but i think she wants to sell it. we are homeless. i guess we will eventually go to public housing which is dangerous. alot of drugs and problems are in those places. right now i am especially concerned.
i feel no one cares about me. my mother they do but not me. i don't know what is to become of me. my mother has no money. we have no money.


disabled1, could you tell us a little more about your mother and how you take care of her? It sounds like your family went in two different directions, with your brother having the lucky direction. I am glad that he is still there for you and your mother. I understand that the resources came from his wife's side, so he is not able to just do with them as he wants.

There are other options besides the Projects, especially for Seniors and disabled people. I don't know where you live, but you may want to look into Section 8 housing. Many senior communities will work with Section 8, so you can have a nice place that is safe enough. I once lived in a retirement community that I loved. Many people living there were on Section 8, so they paid little rent. Other people had federal subsidies, so they paid more, but it was still affordable for them. If your mother is social security age, you can qualify for these type communities. Section 8 is very competitive and may take a while to get it (if you can), but if you have no money, it is something to look at.

And try not to be resentful of your SIL's good fortune. Just try to find a way to make your own fortune better. There are many options around.
disabled1 Does your Mom own the home you live in now or are you renting? Are you on government disability yourself now?
Hugs, disabled1, your story is very sad. When you say you are "homeless" does that mean the comments your landlord makes indicate you are going to be evicted?

My mother and father and then my widowed mother lived in subsidized senior housing for more than 25 years. My aunt also lives in in a subsidized apartment. They are fairly secure, there is not a drug problem, and I haven't heard of any crime in all those years. So don't get too discouraged about the housing options.

Here is what I think you should do:

If either you or your mom has a case worker, start there. If neither of you do, call Social Services in your county and ask for a needs assessment. They will generally send a worker out to ask a lot of questions about the care your mother needs, and what you are able to do. Be honest. Don't say you can do something if it is impossibly hard for you. And don't let Mother insist "Oh we don't need any help." Make sure the worker gets an accurate picture of the situation.

The worker will know about not only county programs but also resources in the community. If your mom is not on Medicaid, that might be one option. In fact, if you are getting disability payments then you are eligible for Medicaid, too.

It would be nice if your brother could help you more financially, but that doesn't sound like something you can count on. Call Social Services. They can help.
no, we aren't being evicted as of yet. however, i think they want us out of here. they make upsetting remarks to us. we don't say anything because we don't want them to raise are rent higher than they do. they have raised the rent every year since my father died several years ago. they know we are on a fixed income but raise it anyway. we pay all of our utilities plus a guy who cuts our grass in the summer. i am responsible to keep the steps and porch clean of snow. i have to pay for my own quick joe. we are good tenants and have been here long time. i will keep all of your answers in mind . they are helpful. we do pay my brother for gas too. i don't resent my sister in law. she deserves everything she has. i am just worried about us now and all of my health issues i am dealing with presently as well as for my mother. thank you all
Hi Disabled 1, I too am a disabled caregiver. I was born disabled and have been taking care of my mother since I was 9. I have never lived on my own and never lived/own a home. I have been looking for someone like me who understands my story, because I have no friends either. I feel like my brother and sister got to be fully(or at least more) developed persons because their lives are their own. I have become isolated, angry, jaded, and frankly quite bitter because my life has NEVER been my own. I don't know what would be the right answer to your present situation. Is it possible to move? Everyone else has mentioned Social Services, but in Georgia, the state I live in that is a load of...They don't want to have to deal with you more than necessary. Section 8 and Hud are waiting games with no real options in terms of housing for the disabled. I would advise you to visit the Social Security Office and Vocational Rehabilitation Office in your area. Also, I would try to visit the ADA.gov website and see if you can find an attorney in your area that will speak with you about your tenant rights. It sounds like you and your mother are victims of discrimination. I am so very sorry this is happening to your family, but I hope you read this and reply or contact me via Facebook, my name there is Ejento Kita. Like I said I have no friends and it would be so nice to reach out and have a hand meet mine, instead of air.

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