Did Hospice rush your loved ones death?

One must note that a person will pass on the same time table with or without Hospice. With Hospice the person will pass with very little or no pain at all.

There is also a "rally" where a patient will suddenly feel better, will be eating and talking. And within a couple of days they are now in coma like state. This is very common. It would happen with or without Hospice.

Sometimes a person will think their love one passed quickly once Hospice was involved. Usually in those cases, Hospice was called late in the patient's care.

My own Dad was in the hospital with aspiration pneumonia when the hospital called me saying he took a turn for the worse. Thus, Dad was transported back to his Assisted Living, and Hospice was called in. He was able to rest comfortably without that heart wrenching cough. Dad passed quickly, within a week. He was ready to go as my Mom had passed the prior year and he missed her so much.

PolarBear, those one time posters could be "drive-by posters" (another wise and insightful person's characterization), or they could be the same person with multiple identities. I haven't checked their profiles (it isn't worth my time) but I suspect that there's either no history, or just a very general comment, that no answers are enabled and there's no personal information beyond the standard "I'm caring for..."

I'm so sorry for your loss. I too have thought about your question. Both my step-dad and mother-in-law were placed into hospice (years apart), and both were alert and responsive until they started receiving the morphine/ativan combo. Then each became unresponsive and death followed shortly thereafter. I know they both were close to passing regardless, but it did seem that once hospice got involved, it happened awfully quick.

Polarbear, I noticed that, too.

I remember one time on another thread that had to with Hospice, that one poster thought those of us who were comfortable with Hospice could all be the same person. Apparently that poster didn't check out our own history on this forum.

I expect they've been directed here from another website, Polar. That's okay.

We do all tend to go around in our comfortable echo-chamber bubbles. It doesn't do us any harm if we at least bump up against other bubbles from time to time :)

What is really funny strange is that the last 10 posters who are naysayers to hospice only posted ONCE and only to this tread. It is as if they dropped out of nowhere and landed here just to make a comment then disappeared.

With the exception of peacebear, these posters: RobRob, SteveBishiri, LIzzieM, Wandamcdaniel, catroom, Iamjustme, Pammie58, Lost247, Dianne321, and Storey came to tell their stories and how hospice killed their love ones, then they disappeared from Agingcare.

Makes me wonder if these are real posters and real stories.  I bet if I went back more pages, I'd find more single-comment posters who were against hospice.

I felt the same way with my mom who passed from cancer. Her cancer had spread but she was still very alert until hospice care kept her drugged up. When the morphine ran out (since she was at home during hospice) and it was completely out of her system, she was alert and talking again. Not just staring looking like a living curpse. I believe hospice give people entirely too much drugs and it makes them die earlier.

Rob, so your dad was NOT receiving Hospice care and declined quickly?

I need to clarify. My Dad was not under Hospice's care....he was headed that way. He was in the transition stage and receiving Palliative care first. Regardless, I stand by my earlier comments.

RobRob, an empty bed generates no income for the facility. Thus, the facility would want to keep their residents in health for as long as possible.

I hesitated to respond. My Dad is still alive although I am not sure how much longer. I agree w/ you 100%. I do believe Hospice was an inevitable destination. I am deeply troubled by, once we made that decision, how quickly my Daddy went from responsive to 100% drugged and non-responsive. I am not against Hospice. I am very angry and upset how the transition was presented vs reality. It was a sales pitch. I feel pretty sure those administrators are compensated by how many / how quickly they move from care to death.

Catroom, usually what happens in that case is that Hospice was called in at the last moment, thus it would feel like Hospice had a hand in rushing death.... but Hospice didn't, as the patient's body was already shutting down on it's own.

Catroom see freqflyer's post directly above yours.

yes I feel the death rushed. I did not know the person would go so fast. did not like that.

A person passes on the same time table whether they use Hospice or not.

It depends if you want to see that person suffer with horrible pain, or if you want the peron to be comfortable.

Yes, my husband is in here at the Edgewood Kentucky Hospice. And I feel the same way. My husband wanted to go home. And of course they agreed. The next thing I knew the doctor at the hospital said that he didn’t know where he was so the doctor took it upon himself and told that we wanted to stay at the hospital. 5 minutes later the hospice lady came in. It was so weard, and I proved to her that my husband Charlie knew exactly where he was . And 2 minutes later I woke Charlie up and proved to her that he knew where he was . So now she of course gave him a choice, stay there in the hospital or now he could go to the inpatient hospice. And he said hospice. They told us again that the other lady would be back to talk to us the next day and I haven’t seen her yet. Of course they keep giving him all that medicine and now he cannot speak or drink and barely opens his eyes. I believe that they had it planned out. And they are killing my husband s little bit at a time. I know what he wanted. And I really don’t see how they can do people and family and loved ones like that. This isn’t right. And I do not agree with anything they do. They take people’s live in their own hands . And right now I don’t thank them for anything. Except taking my husband Charlie away from me his kids and grandkids. God help Hospice!!!!

Lost there is no way you can tell if Gma is really in pain or not. Discuss this with the hospice nurse and see if she just needs an anti anxiety drug like Ativan during the day and maybe add the morphine just at night so you can both sleep. As long as you don't exceed the prescribed dose you do not have to give her all or everything. The usual starting dose for oral morphine is very small and no where near enough to kill anyone.
From your description she sounds as though she is progressing fairly quickly. because she can still walk, talk and eat does not mean she is not nearing the end of her journey. Remember it is her mind that is sick and damaged not her body. Hospice is very hesitant to admit patients with dementia because it is something that does not usually end life very quickly. Don't be afraid to try the medications and see if her pain is eased and that will help you descide on the best way to move forward. Don't let guilt guide your decisions. After all if she sleeps all day so can you.

Pammie you are totally entitled to your opinion about hospice. It often does seem that people die as soon as ahospice nurse crosses the threshold. Whether that is true or not is a personal opinion but the truth of the matter is that many people wait far too long before they call in hospice. it is not unusual for someone to actually die during the admission visit or that very night whether they have been given drugs or not. Your grief is still overwhelming after almost 2 years and you might consider some professional counciling at this time to help you through it. I am not suggesting that there is anything wrong with you but sometimes people get stuck in a stage of grieving and need some help to relieve their suffering.

Iamjustme. As you said the nurse left a bottle of eye drops that she had used to put under Gma's tongue, it would be doubtful that she was giving morphine, it was probably something to dry up the secretions or prevent them in Gma's lungs which are extremely distressing both to family and patient during the dying process

Lizzie you did what had to be done. You were able to ease the pain and allow a peaceful death. Even without medication many people are unconscious at the end of life. There can be no guilt attached to easing someone's distress. Be at peace with your actions. There is no timetable for death.
I am so sorry but not suprised your Dad is taking this so hard. 70 years is a very long time to be married and at 93 it is very hard to take such a loss. I am sure you are doing all you can to relieve his distress. let him take his own time and don't do things to "cheer him up" he may be ready to join your mother sooner rather than later. it will be very sad for you to face the loss of both parents, but we don't have a choice in such things. So be sure to take care of yourself during this difficult time. Blessings.

I recently went through this with my mother. She passed 2/20/18 She had a two year battle with cancer, was at home in hospice, and I was with her the last two weeks and when she passed. I followed the hospice nurse's instructions regarding medications exactly. She was in a lot of pain, leaning on the bed made her uncomfortable. My head tells me relieving her pain was critical and afforded her some mercy. But, as you say all the drugs (doubled the last three days) makes me feel in my heart like I drugged her until she was unresponsive and then she was gone. She was on two Fentenayl patches, Morphine, Lorazepam and Haloperidol. I was so conflicted about what was best for her, to get her through the pain and make her comfortable, and seeing her unresponsive. It was more than difficult. How much is necessary.....what was she feeling......thinking...... wanting that we didn't give her? The last coherent words I heard her say was "what is happening, why am I like this?" The hospice staff were wonderful and I trust what they had me do for her. Being a lay person during such a difficult time it's hard to understand, you are simply in the moment watching a loved one die, trying to get through, and all the questions come to mind after they are gone. Hospice continued with a bereavement team afterwards for my dad. They were married 70 years. He's lost and lonely at 93; breaks my heart.

My grandma is 81 with dementia (early stage 6) and i struggle these days with not knowing if the pain she says she has is true. I hear how bad of a headache she has almost every day , now kust complains that she hurts all over, including her chest. She is a hospice patient and i tell her nurse about her complaints but when the nurse asks her how shes felling, she answers 9/10x “ im fine”. Its so frusrating because all i hear is how she feels awful. Now the nurse is waiting to get the approval from the Dr on starting her on morphine. Because tylenol wont work. The guilt i have if she really isnt in pain and using it as an excuse to sleep all day long( which i cant allow because she then gets her days and nights mixed up) so thats a daily struggle too. I am exhasted these past couple months have only become so up and down , from delerium, anxiety, restlessness. Insomnia, incontentance and even violent. If you seen her you woukdnt think she belong in hospice but i keep telling myself if she didnt qualify for hospice care ahe wouldnt be in it. She can still walk and talk and that is why i have a hard time believing her time is coming. With morphine added now whAt if it takes her before she was supposed to even go and because im exhausted it doesnt mean i want to live with the giult that i contributed to her death since im the one that will have to dispense( per Dr orders)it to her. Then what if she really is in pain and im ignoring it and she is suffuring.
Im so torn.

People die on the same time table whether they use Hospice or not.

Hi I'm sorry to hear that you had a bad experience with your local hospice. I did as well when it is cancer and all hospice uses is morphine in my mind it rushes the death Also my late mother was couldn't tolerate morphine do to her allergy to it. It can seem like hospice rushes death especially when they don't manage our loved one's pain well. My mother has been gone two years was in hospice for one month and 5 days died in hospice house.

Yes, I think about it every day. My grieving will not go away. All, I keep saying is- she could have lived a few more days. I needed those few more days with her. My sister was on duty at the time and called hospice. I have a huge resentment against her. I can't take this anylonger. My mom passed away 11/16. I keep saying, it's my fault and my daughter tells me it is not. I miss her so bad. I do think hospice rushes death. I will never have them around me or a family member again. :(

My late mother was a hospice patient she was given morphine for pain management. She had terminal cancer. Hospice ignored her when she stated she was algeric to morphine. So once all her pain meds were increased that faithful night. With her algeries it made her dying experience worse. Till this day two years in I cannot be in a room without sound.

I am sorry to hear that. I have an odd story. My grandma was taken into hospice from the hospital. She was doing better, alert, talking. Things were looking up and we thought maybe we could take her home. My aunt told the nurses don't give her anything she's getting better. My aunt went to the bathroom and a nurse had snuck in and put something u under  my grandma's tongue. My aunt got in a couple mins to late. The nurse was startled by her coming back in the nurse had left her bottle of eye drops that she put under my grandma's tongue. From my understanding this is normal to speed things along. It doesn't show up in the blood stream and within hours she was dead.

I have been a nurse in a hospice inpatient facility for 15 years. Over that time, I have learned alot about death and dying, as well as about grief. One constant in my job has always been the misconception by many people that a hospice facility is basically a place where a person goes for care and then the nurses “kill” them! My own in-laws believe that! It’s hard for me to get my head around that....that they, after having known me for 30 years, believe that I “kill” people for a living!! Wow. But I say that to say this: It is legally, not to mention ethically and morally, wrong to kill someone, even if they are very sick and are dying. My job as a hospice nurse is to observe the signs and symptoms a patient displays and to use my knowledge and judgement to give the care that will best alleviate the suffering. If a patient seems to be in pain ( or tells me there is pain), I look and find out what medication( as well as the dosage and the route) can be administered. If enough time has elapsed since the patient’s most recent dose of that medication, I can give it. It has to be within the parameters already set up by the doctor. I can’t give more than was prescribed. I can’t give more often than prescribed. And I am aware of what can and what cannot be given together. Sometimes, medication isn’t really indicated. In those cases, I know some other non-pharmaceutical ways to help. I have found that hospice nurses, because we deal with death so much, are keenly aware of the sanctity of life, and would NEVER attempt to hasten death. The decision of when a person’s life is to end belongs only to God. Sometimes, a patient will die very soon after medication has been given, and grieving family and friends may interpret that as the nurse having “killed” the patient. I understand that. But hospice is NOT to kill people, or even to hasten death. I’ve heard that for years, but nothing could be further from the truth.

ChJones I'm so sorry you & your mother are going through this! May I ask why she wasn't given a comfort pack when she went on hospice? My MIL is in the end stage of idiopathic pulmonary fibrosis and went on hospice, in home, at the end of February and hospice gave her a comfort pack with ativan and morphine, even though she wasn't in any pain or suffering from anxiety. She's only recently started taking ativan because of anxiety which seems to be the worst at night after she goes to sleep. The ativan has been a God-send, when she wakes up during the night in a panic she screams out for her partner/caregiver and it scares him to death!! (sorry for the pun).The ativan is allowing them both to sleep peacefully.

I did a search for dilauded and landed on this page, and found the subject enlightening. First, let me say this. I am caring for my 82 year-old mother who is in the end stages of lung cancer, has just been enrolled in Hospice care (in home) as of 1 week ago today, and who is in almost constant pain. She has withered to just 95 lbs (her fighting weight was 150), six months ago she was at 135. Three weeks ago she was still making her own meals and basically b****ing at me at the top of her lungs about everything I wasn't doing right. Two weeks ago her oncologist told her she'd feel better if she got out and took a walk around the block occasionally. At the time, she could not walk more than fifteen feet without getting winded. Today, my mother can no longer get out of bed. Day before yesterday she ate two relatively large meals. Yesterday, she picked at her meals. Today, the best I could do was get her to sip some celery soup through a straw. She hasn't pooped in 7 days. She pee'd about 1/4 a cup this morning. She cries from the pain when the dilauded wears off.
I would give ANYTHING for a morphine drip and Atavan. I used to work in a nursing home and I know how peaceful and painless going that way is. This is none of the above, for any of us. My poor mother is suffering, and I am attending to her every minute. I am sleepless, haggared, not eating, and basically at my wits end.
Anyone who feels that hospice did them a disservice by easing their loved one's passing needs to come to my house and see what it is when they (due to the opiod crisis I guess?) withhold those meds.