Did I do something wrong?

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hi all. I posted earlier about my father who took a fall, fractured his hip and was in ICU for a while. Then he was moved to palliative care. He was discharged to a rehab facility last night. My mother, brother, sister and me have been taken shifts staying with him 24/7 since he got out to the ICU. Here they allow family to stay with new patients the first night and it was my turn. He couldn't settle down, had a couple accidents and pretty much woke me up 5 times in 6 hours. The last time I woke up and he was on the floor.
I think he fell for the same reason he fell originally - he was off oxygen for a while. He was transferred from the hospital to the facility around 8:30-9pm. the nurse said all his meds were approved but they don't have an in house pharmacy. he is on Percocet for pain (much less than before.) In the hospital he also had some agitation, they prescribed .5mg (I think? very small dose) and it worked wonders.

We were able to get him back up on the bed, me 2 nurses and a security guard. the beds have side rails but near the head so they probably would not prevent another fall. I was happy to see that this facility promotes non use of restraints but you can request them if you want. I am going to recommend that they do that maybe until they can prescribe something to settle him down? I don't even know if that's appropriate - I don't have any clinical knowledge.

I am sitting here writing you all waiting for my mother to come and relieve me. I have to go to my internship today. I was so happy last night at all the amenities they have here for him. Right now I'm so mad I can't even say anything to my father. I'm not sure who I"m mad at, him, me or %^&*&*^*)(*) old age. i dropped my class load to part time, my brother flew in from Scotland, my sister from NJ and my dog has been very lonely and our lives have been turned upside down for the last 3 weeks. How the h*ll people can do this for years and years is completely beyond me.

Thank you for letting me vent.


3930 helpful answers
Miasmom, you have been and are wonderful!

You're mad at aging. You're mad at what your father has to go through. You're mad at the fact that there are no right answers such as to restrain or not to restrain. This is normal and healthy. Be angry. Just don't be mad at yourself.

My dad had several falls and even a couple of broken bones, but the smallest "restraint," such as putting a tray on his wheel chair, cause him such horrendous psychological damage that we had to make hard choices. What is worse - mental hell or a broken bone? Neither, but the agony of trying to manage this was terrible.

You will find kind hearts here. Go to your classes, do what you can. Take care of yourself. Just do not carry guilt - okay?

Please let us know how you, your father and your family are doing as time goes on. We are with you in spirit.
Carol, your answer made me cry. Thank you for being so kind.
3930 helpful answers
I hope they were good tears: ) I simply told the truth. Take care of yourself.
It sounds like you have wonderful family support.

Seeing our parents mentally altered is so difficult and makes us feel so vulnerable (at least it did me). Your dad is lucky to have you and your support while he goes through this.

Things will settle down eventually and you'll all be out of crisis mode. Then it will be time for you to rest and to make sure your mom has what she needs. She and your dad are very lucky to have such devoted children.

Rage is good. Acceptance is good. You often have to go through the rage before you can live in acceptance.
Oh, sweetheart, I'm so sorry for what is going on. A good cry now and then is certainly needed! This SHOULDN"T happen to our parents, but it does. Hugs!

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