Desperately need input from anyone who has been through a major burnout.

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Long story short...
I hit rock bottom about a month ago after a long period of time (12 years living with my hubby & I) of caring for my mom. (mom is staying with a relative during this time.

Between dealing with major anxiety, panic attacks, stressed out, depression, its been a pretty rough ride. I'm doing better then I was when this started, but I still have a ways to go to get over this hump.

What have you (or anyone you know who's been through this) done to help get through and past something like this?

Please know that I am not pitying or feeling sorry for myself so theres no need for the tough talk kind of answers that I've seen some give when others have hit a low. I just want to know what others have done to get through something similar so I can get life back on track again.

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saw this site when i was becoming suicidal with almost bedridden mother in law and even more aged active but completely self-centred father, both kids and sister lin law having the time of their lives while my husband is nearly crippled financially, and me going crazy with no friends, no job, no rest, no hope because they're going to outlive us
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Good for you! I'm glad that you're feeling better :-)

You are so right about better resources needed. If there was (or if the resources that are available were more easily accessible), the problem of caregiver burnout wouldnt be such a common problem.

Keep up the good work!
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By taking small steps, resting and learning to be kind & patient with myself, things have been moving forward. I still have a ways to go, but am so thankful for the progress that I've made.

Its been a rough road to travel and I dont wish it on anyone. One things for sure, better resources need to be made available so that those with the very best intentions towards another arent put at such risk of damaging their own health. Its just not how it should be, and its just not right.
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I'm in agreement with others. Take some much needed time off and don't check in. It will take you several days to just wind down and even relax. Give yourself that downtime. When you feel refreshed; think clearly and put together a plan with your husband on how you can manage going forward. You won't be any good to anyone if you burnout or get sick. Make a plan and appt perhaps to sit down with counselor at senior center to help you get some resources needed to continue -- adult daycare center; home visit help (to give you more hours off during the day); meals on wheels, etc. -- planned interval respite care for your loved one so you can have more time off -- even if you just stay home during that time. Maybe you can enlist more relatives to pitch in and I would plan out a 6 month schedule with them so they can't back out. If they can't fulfill their duty when the time comes then it is there responsibility to trade with another relative or pay for someone else to care for your loved one.
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I'm still trying to recoup, but I wish that things would mellow out with the way I feel. I feel like I'm caught in the twilight zone :-(
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Unfortuanatly it seems to be all too common that the responsibilty falls on one person. I'm that person too, as are many others who are on this site. I hope that after some much needed rest you'll be feeling better real soon.
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I get no help. Its even very rare that any family comes to visit and when they do I only get an estimated time within hours that they'll be here and never how long they think they'll be staying so that I can go do something during their visit. I have 3 siblings, but they refuse to be of any help or even chip in for someone to come in to help now an then. When I realized that i was getting worn too thin, i literally begged people to come and help and those who said that they would help never even showed up even once.
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I am so sorry that you're going through such a rough time Jasmine.

I know of a couple of people who've gone through what you're going through, and I dont know what your circumstances are but theirs was due to lack of help which lead to no respite time for themselves. I hope that you're resting as much as you can right now, eating well and pampering yourself. After 12 years of giving of yourself to another, you definitey deserve quality time for yourself.
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golfbhard, what did you do to help regain yourself?
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I agree thisnweb site has been the best medicine. I read several times a day. Sometimes I realize I don't have it as bad although I'm sole caregiver for 7 years in my home, ended up in the hospital last winter. Just reading and the support of others really help. Sometimes when I feel like there is nothing left to live for I really rely on this site. Stick around. There are wonderful insightful ladies on here
I'm not a big poster like a lot are but the advice and just knowing you aren't alone is so very healing. Hugs to you.
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