Dealing with guilt or 'what ifs'.
My mother has had signs of dementia for several years, it's gradually gotten worse and we just got a diagnosis of Alzheimer's this week. I have been telling my siblings all along that something was very wrong but they didn't pay any attention to me. I moved my mother in with me last year, telling her that I 'could use help paying the rent' and she hated where she was living. I don't NEED her money to live on my own...in fact, having her live here costs me money, she eats a far different diet and insists on the heater running all the time.
I have three brothers and one sister. One brother has not visited at all since she's been here, rarely calls. One brother has been by twice, rarely calls. Final brother has been here three times, never calls. (the three times were at her request to fix her car). My sister has been over about a dozen times, never for very long and has taken my mother out once.
My mother has taken a huge downturn in the past few weeks....my sister is shocked and upset, claiming she had no idea and how could this have happened. Brothers are coming to visit tomorrow..
I am being blamed for her sudden decline because we've had some family drama this past couple weeks. We had some family come by and try to steal from my mother and I stopped them...they threw a fit, my mother was very upset.
How do you deal with people trying to put guilt or blame on you? how do you keep from putting guilt or blame on yourself?