Dealing with commode issues.

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I can't seem to control my stomach when my mother needs my help going to the bathroom.


I'm with you, I've already told my parents, I draw the line at changing diapers, if they need that kind of help it will be time to move to a facility. I do shampoo their hair, and help with nails, and body lotion (back & legs where they cannot reach) but I will not do diapers, toileting help or bathe their privates. Thus far they are making sure they do all of that themselves, but some day it might prove otherwise.
roxie823, did you raise children? I think it might be a little tougher if this is your very first experience dealing with someone else's toileting issues. Not that potty training a toddler is much like helping an adult, but at least it is an exposure to the experience.

What is it about the experience that most bothers your stomach? Smell maybe? The indignity of the whole process?

I hope that some professionals (nurses, aides, paid caregivers) will post here and explain how they got over their squeamishness or stomach rebellion. I am not a health care professional but it helped me to approach the situation matter-of-factly as a job to be done. I remember one time in particular helping my husband who had an accident not getting to the toilet fast enough in a men's room. When he didn't come out I went in, saw the huge mess, and immediately turned my mind to "professional helper" mode. I had to deal with the clean-up work but he had to deal with the embarrassment. I wouldn't have traded roles with him and did all I could to reassure him it was no big deal and we'd get it all taken care of in no time, etc.

Roxie823, one option is to decide it is time for Mother to be placed where professionals will handle this. If toileting is the only obstacle to you continuing to care for her, I hope you will overcome your own issues with it.
I'm okay with toileting, poopy bottoms, enemas, bathing, whatever else - just can't handle vomit. OMG, I will get the heaves while anyone is vomiting. Thank goodness it doesn't happen often. I don't go to bars anymore anyway, but back in the day, the bathroom was a minefield for me.

Oh, yeah, I don't do blood well either. That hasn't come up with MIL at all yet, but when my kids were little, I'd pass out for bloody noses and such. Not too embarrassing.

Can you spray air freshener before you enter the bathroom? Maybe spread some Vicks on your upper lip? Wear a mask? If I think of anything else, I will let you know. I feel for you, because if you don't have the stomach for it now, it probably won't get any better.
Changing poopy diapers and wiping poopy butt's WAS my bottom line. Guess what? I crossed it and lived. Gagged at first but yeah, I am alive! It wasn't the end of all ends I had perpetrated in my head. DARN!

Lovely smelling sprays and a giant scarf that wraps around your face at least two times will help in the beginning. After that, you realize how silly you look with your head wrapped up and you move forward... febreeze in hand, like a soldier!
Just be sure that you wear gloves when you are doing the poopy stuff, because that smell just lingers.

Really, the more you do something, the better you get at it usually. So with experience comes tolerance.

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