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since I'm the only next of kin, i really would like to deactivated my mum pacemaker, but her cardiologist is not approved, since my mum currently rely on her pacemaker 100%. She is hemorrhagic stroke, and now she developed early dementia and osteoporosis. She is 76 years old this year. She couldn't recognize me, she have major depression. I'm emotional exhausted. My mum sisters keep calling me and tell me nasty things, from nasty daughter, to a very rebellious daughter. They only know how to give me verbal assistance, but none could help physical assistance or even expenses. My mum doesn't have any insurance, her whole life money now being hold by her sisters, which decline to gave me. the reason is for mum after her recovery. My mum hospital bills, until her daily physiotherapy is bare by my husband. First we used our children trust fund, then we used our pension money, and at the end we sold our house. I couldn't bring my mum back to my place, is not a place for stroke patient. Is a rental house. We are trying to survived, while earning a living. Fed the kids, sending them to school, paying school fees. Oh my goodness.....what have i done..... what should i do??

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Hi, jeannegibbs...
I'm in Malaysia. Thank you for your explanation. Now i understand better. Thank you for taking your time to wrote to me. It means lots to me. Please forgive me if any of my words offended you, my english doesn't really good.

@Sorrynotsorry: And yes that is what i'm worry that it like i killed my mum. My mum is not alone, she is at nursing home. And we are planning to bring her back to my place, so the expenses will be lesser.

Surely i have my own worry, what is gonna happened with my mum if i need to send and pick up my children from school, yes i will make sure her bed is block. How during i cleaning her, i accidentally drop her. My mum is a tall lady and im very small. And after 3 children and epidural, my back are killing me. I'm not worry to taking care of my mum, she only have me and i only have one mum. The nursing home did not treat her good, and her condition is getting worst. She stayed 3 hours drive from my place, every friday we all go and see her, and every sunday night we all going back home.
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I think that might be murder. Maybe you should just leave. Call the police and tell them there is a vulnerable adult ( your mom) that should be checked on as she is alone.
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Where are you, Franz77? That sometimes makes a difference in the comments we make.

About the pacemaker ... that device improves her quality of life. She can live without it, but she would be more miserable. I see no reason to deactivate it. It would not make her passing more comfortable to have it off.

My husband had both a pacemaker and a defibrillator. The defib device is specifically to prolong life, and my husband wanted his off. The cardiologist at first tried to talk him out of it. Then he agreed, but said he would not not do a procedure just to accomplish that. So the next time the pacemaker battery had to be changed, he did take the defibrillator out.

There is a huge difference between devices that improve daily life and devices that prevent a natural life-threatening event. Please, leave the pacemaker alone.

As to your aunts' phone calls -- don't take them at all, or keep them very short. You don't need any unhelpful hassle from people who remain outside the picture.

About the financial woes, that is where it might help us to know what state or country you are in.
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