Day care works wonders.
I wanted to share a solution that has really worked well for us. My mother has Alzheimer's that is fairly advanced. Here is a solution that has worked so very well for us (so far).
She is in Adult Day Care 5 days a week. We have the center pick her up each day and bring her home each day. I get notes from the center telling me about her participation, her disposition, her diet and her mood. She is taken care of by a good staff as well as RN's. This center is located in a hospital!
It is not cheap but it is her money and it's important to us that she has some quality of life while she can. She feels that she is going to work every day, having them pick up and bring home has given her a sense of independence. Sometimes her stories are so funny and one day she announced that she got a promotion. LOL
All the clients attending this day center feel they are going to work. Apparently that is quite typical, I am able to have time to work or do whatever I need to do and she has a life outside of me. This is an inter-generational day center so they get time with children each day, they have exercise and daily activities. They have coffee and muffins for breakfast and a full main meal for lunch.
Mom is exhausted when she comes home, usually in bed by 7:00 and even though she sundowns every day it just isn't that difficult to deal with because she is so tired.
This is such a perfect solution for us!!!