Help!! My Dad won't put my Mom in a Nursing Home
Just for those of you who responded to my earlier post about my mother and I not getting along, Thank You!! I couldn't figure out how to answer everyone. Just an update before I ask the new question. Things are going much better now that she realizes that my Dad can't take care of her on his own. And yes I am still sober!!
Ok, she has now lost almost all of her strength and we are really struggling with mobility and bathroom. We have a sit to stand cart which it now takes 2 people to get her into. She is a big lady (5'2", 270 lbs). She has really "outgrown" the cart. Physical therapy today suggested a hoyer lift, but with my understanding we would have to lay her down on the bed and take her pants up and down everytime we needed to take her to the commode. She is not sitting back on her commode because the cart is rubbing on her legs and it is uncomfortable. It is impossible for us to dress and undress her in bed due to her immobility (she cant even scoot or roll over) and size. I am desperate for how to deal with this. I have accepted the fact that she really needs to be placed in a nursing home. My Dad has prostate cancer and works part-time for a funeral home (by choice -- it gives him a break). This is wearing him out and I am concerned about him. He came home from a funeral this morning and I explained to him that the physical therapist thought that the only solution was to hire Full-Time help or a nursing home. He just looked at me and shrugged his shoulders. About 20 minutes later he came out and just started sobbing saying he couldn't put her in a nursing home and that we would find a solution. He made her a promise that he would never put her in a nursing home. My questions are: 1. Do I try to make my Dad realize that this is what is best for her and for
him? 2. Does anyone know of any other transfer system that may be helpful?
Thank you in advance for reading ( I know I rambled) and responding. I don't have any other resources but this post and no one to talk to.