Help! My Dad thinks I am his wife!
My dad came to live with us (myself, my husband & 23 yr old son) 5 months ago, after my mom passed away. He is 84 and in mid to late stage of AD. The last 6 weeks or so, my dad slips into a delusion in which he thinks I am his wife. This usually happens in the evening, during his Sundowning period. Try as we might, we cannot get him to understand that I am his daughter. He thinks this is "our" home and that my husband and son are visitors. Usually around 9pm, he starts trying to kick them out. He gets very agitated when we try to explain that we all live here. He accuses me of taking in boarders without asking him first. When I've tried to explain who we all are, he will sometimes think that my husband is my first husband but I have divorced him and am now with married to him. He can't understand why I would welcome my ex into our home. He gets mad at me when I won't go to bed with him or gets up several times to see why I haven't come to bed yet. We have even had a few nights where he actually cries because he thinks I am either mad at him or sleeping with another man. My husband has been a good sport about this, sometimes sitting out in the garage until after Dad has fallen asleep. But it is now cold out and I don't expect my husband to give up his home in order to keep Dad calm. My son has also been very good to his grandpa, but it is hurtful when he says mean things to them and acts as though he has never seen them in his life. They understand that this is the illness, but it doesn't mean it doesn't hurt them. I am no longer bothered by the fact that Dad doesn't recognize me. I can accept that he doesn't know I'm his daughter. And if he thought I were a nurse or his sister or mother, I could play along. But we are at a loss as to how to handle this. We cannot live in his reality and play into this storyline! This is definitely not one of the things that any of us anticipated having to deal with. Has anyone else had this problem? Any suggestions for us?