Dad is at end of life care. Issues with assisted living. How to move him around?
My parents have been living with us for a couple years now and Dad is steadily getting worse. We just got thru another hospital visit where we were told Dad wouldn't make it but by the grace of God he did. This is a mixed blessing tho. They are on social security and have Medicare but we are being told in home care isn't paid for. For some background on Dad.....
He has a defib pacemaker and it has fired on him last year and with hospital care, they stabilized him. His 'ejection fraction rate' is about 15%. We have been told he probably would not survive any surgery where he has to be put out. He is on home PD kidney dialysis (and we are told this is the hang up with being able to find any nursing home care). They just found infections thru the colon and have said it's diverticulitis. I do not fully understand this. He had bladder cancer a couple years ago and got some treatment but we believe it is still there. However, again, he can't have surgeries to try to fix it.
Recently the vascular blockages in his legs have reared it's head and caused problems. He has a very had time walking now due to constant pain. His 'possible' options at first discussion was either amputation or possibly a bypass down his leg. Either way.... he wouldn't survive the procedure and they aren't really looking at trying.
We just got him home and things fell apart when trying to get him to bed. My Mom, and myself, are overweight but I have at least way more mobility than Mom. But neither of us are capable of lifting him. And he can't hardly get from a seated position to the walker. He lost his balance while at the toilet to night and the toilet actually caught his fall. But all our fears were realized in that moment. Thankfully my husband was home (he travels a lot for work) and was able to lift him but has a back injury where this isn't going to be an option.
We are being told hospice might be an option but nobody will touch his PD dialysis. Same with any nursing facility. In home care isn't covered by medicare. Mom and I have felt like the hospital stabilizes them enough then sends them home to try to manage their care and I see yet another trip to the hospital soon. We are not wheelchair accessible, we have converted the old living room to their bedroom but all the options we may have are totally unknown to me and as his daughter, my min is quite frankly on trying to cope with my Dad's failing help and not knowing what to do.
We do supposedly have 'home health care' from the hospital set up to contact us and they say someone coming out a time or two a week is paid by Medicare. But we haven't been contacted yet. (They said within 24 hours of discharge).
I realize I didn't really ask a question but I'm hoping that some of you can read between the lines and offer some hope or direction. More than anything I just want to curl up and cry.
We are in Washington state if that info helps and the hospital we've been with is Tacoma General.