Very Confused.

Started by

Dad is 84. Lives with my brother, aged 52 in Dad's own house. Dad has problems with his left hip. Is unable to walk. Has an aluminum walking stick. This now prevents his falling down. Has visited a Chiropractor who took an xray, told him the hip needs motion, even if it hurts to do this, since there is a lack of lubrication. But Dad is not comfortable doing this. Refuses to see a doctor, telling me, 'The doctor might start to dictate how I live my life'...Also, Dad falls asleep whenever he sits down. Wakes up confused. He also takes time each morning, to read the Obits & weep. He very much wants to see my sister, but she has no interest in visiting. I visit whenever I can, although we have never gotten along. It is sad to see this once active, proud, physical fitness buff, hobbling around. Dad used to love the sun. Now he stays indoors most of the time, seems afraid of the sun, it seems to make him feel unwell or something. He looks very ill, but is only taking a mild blood pressure pill. Tired, hobbling around, falling. He is not a nice person, and long story short, has, at the very least, exacerbated my brother's mental fragility. 'You will never be able to leave home, nobody will hire you'..isolating him, so that my brother spends all day at home, screaming accusations at him'..'You ruined my life'...It is actually true, and Dad loves to seek out the mentally ill & torment them in this way. I feel..The Chord of his life is wearing very thin. Let him do just as he likes, this makes him happiest. Visit often, though now Dad is becoming a bit suspicious. And when the time comes, Dad no longer eats...then...take action. This is what he wants. I phone every week, visit for about a week every month, during which he often makes rude remarks to me. I feel so helpless. Thoughts?


Dad also feels cold a lot of the time. And doesnt want to be alone. Alone watching TV or alone listening to music. Do U think he is dying? Should I tell his doctor? Is this normal, I mean...after all, he IS 84 years of age.
My thoughts are why on earth would you spend 25% of your life visiting this cruel man who has totally alienated your sister, who has tomented your mentally fragile brother, and who has never been nice to you?
Your Dad needs to be seen by a doctor and your brother needs help taking care of him. There are lots of services available that are covered by Medicare and his doctor can get that going for him. Good luck!
What state does your dad live in? Your brother is mad because ,he is looking at himself in 25 years.

Keep the conversation going (or start a new one)

Please enter your Comment

Ask a Question

Reach thousands of elder care experts and family caregivers
Get answers in 10 minutes or less
Receive personalized caregiving advice and support