I am very concerned about my mom, we need advice.

Started by

My mom is 59. Last week she overdosed on her musle relaxers. She is on oxygen but smokes. She goes through her Vicodin, and here somas in less then a week. Then will buy them on the streets. She only gets less then $900 a month. We placed her in a independent living, where they bring you 3 meals a day and have a bed. But she left and went back to my sisters, till the 1st she says shevis getting herbown place then. I'm about to be a grandma myself and cant stand to watch her neglect herself. She cant even walk to the bathroom, without needing a breathing treatment. I know the damage is done, but if she were to quit smoking now, and give up the pills we might get 10 more year out of her. She care more about those things then jer grandchildren. I have 6 kids and work alot of hour. We need advise please help! I want my mom back


If you have health care proxy for her, you can make her quit. She sounds like she is too young to have these issues. Power of Attorney gives you power over a person's business affairs. Health Care Proxy gives you the ability to make health care decisions. Either way, you may have to go to court. There are courts that deal with these issues, and I would consult with an elder law attorney. She may only have moderate Alzheimer's. But these issues may also be from addiction or other medical issues. You should consult with her doctor. If she is mentally competent, she is responsible for her actions. She has an addiction, where she is chemically dependent on certain substances. That means she needs medical supervision to stop her addiction. Her nervous system is dependent on what she is using. It is not a choice. Its a chemical dependency. If she stops without supervision, her heart could stop and she could have other complications. Muscle relaxers can be very addictive chemically and neurologically. Addiction is a disease not a choice. She needs specialized care at a treatment facility. Did you try asking Narcotics Anonymous? https://www.na.org/
Thank you very much will check both, and talkto her doctor.
Well, if she's buying street Vicodin, that's illegal and she could be committing either a misdemeanor or felony. It would be very, very difficult to report her to law enforcement, but it might provoke placement in a rehab facility to control the addiction.

I don't suggest this lightly though. It's hard enough to deal with the self abuse let alone reporting your parent.
Vbs2007, oh how very sad that you are having to deal with such a difficult situation, while also maintaining your own family and enjoying a new chapter of life, a Grand baby! The NA suggestion is a great 1st step, as they will advise you of ways to get your Mom the help she so desperately needs. I just want to welcome you to this wonderful website, and hope that you come back and share your experiences, as we all learn from each other and you will get great support here too! Sometimes when you reach out anonymously, it's easier to get it all out there, but do be prepared to get advice that is very straight forward and sometimes Not exactly what you want to hear, but sometimes we need that very direct message to move in the right direction! Being that there isn't a lot of emotion, as what you get from family members, suggestions can hit those nerves, and sting a little bit, but everyone is here to help, and never intend it that way. If you hang in here, and really share your thoughts and feelings, its a lot easier to find solutions, and if you are anything like me, you will form some very great friendships, and then emotions and the caring comes into play. You hang in there, and I hope you get some great advice here! It's also a good idea to posts your own questions, starting a thread, and wait for a flood of suggestions to come to you. Be prepared to answer loads of questions though! Lot of luck to you now! You are doing the right thing, reaching out! HUGS!!!
Thank you so much Stacy, i could go on and on.My oldest Daughter is 8 months prego and it hurts her to see her grandma this way. My mom says my kids are her sunshine, but i recently noticed she needs (wants) all these devices before us. My mom is so young. I work with guys 15 years older then her and they can do circles around her. She cant breath to make herself a sandwich. But can go outside to smoke. 120pain pills she gets a month.. 7 days was gone.My daughter feels me in, i only have weekends off. Thank u guys for all the advice, We just want her to stop smoking , get non addictive pain killers and walk even just once to the fence and back. She was\is my best friend and i know im going to lose her if ahe or we dont do something.

Keep the conversation going (or start a new one)

Please enter your Comment

Ask a Question

Reach thousands of elder care experts and family caregivers
Get answers in 10 minutes or less
Receive personalized caregiving advice and support