The Chronicles of Caregiver Abuse: The Hurtful truth

My situation is a lil different my husband has epilepsy along with possible congestive heart failure. More times that not he is always cold or always asking me questions etc etc. I love him death but its difficult with raising 2 kids and taking care of him but yes I agree with others Get a Break, Get respite...heck even for a wk depending on her insurance put her in NH that might help her relax and you can Breathe...DO not let the circumstances become the song of ur mantra...but know this ur doing something no one else will and God knows what ur struggles are..

How do you get some help? You will snap if you don't! Your mom is being unrealistic and overdemanding. What's her diagnosis? You must be a saint! Glad you are here. Hang in there! Praying for you.

Thanls for understanding Y'all. I love u guys
~ Nutz

There's NO SUCH THING as whining here-we are all here to help and listen whenever you need us, because we are all going to need to vent. I've noticed with my grandmother that she starts to panic if she doesn't know or forgets where I am, and unfortunately I've become like her security blanket. Even when she's surrounded by all the rest of her family, I watch her head start whipping around desperately searching for me. It sounds like that's what your Mom did-she panicked and demanded to see you just to make sure you hadn't left her. Unfortunately, when they get like that there's no reasoning with them. She's determined to be scared and upset no matter what you say. sorry she upset you, but the caregiver was right to leave you alone-ya gotta sleep sometime! Can't be a zombie as well as a clone now, can ya???

LOL thanks... so sorry for your situation, you're Hubby and Dad are very lucky to have you. You should also be careful not to get worn out YOURSELF. Mom has to have her meds every 2 hours without fail. I wouldn't get to go far...
Peace~ Nutz

SOUNDS LIKE IT !!! watch out , its hard im takin care of my husband that just got home yesterday from open heart operation plus takin care of my 86 yrs old dad . dad was good so it wasnt too hard today ,
i just feel so tired and drained out , shoveling the rest of the snow off the sidewalk and carried bunch wood inside to feed the woodstove .
soon i ll be puttin dad to bed , my husband is already in bed , hopin he will sleep good , which he hasnt all week , yesterday it was bad night for him . poor guy ,
hope you dont wear urself out when ur aunt comes , if she looks like shes walkin just fine then i would take off !!! zoom !! hollar be back when its time for ur meds !

I WISH!!!! in fact I have thought of that, however, the aunt is just getting over a broken ankle and is 70 y.o. i'm not sure she's up to caregiving. I will prob. be taking care of both of them~nutz

good when ur aunt comes and she can stay with ur mother and u go get a lit vacation for 6 days !!! get away and take a big ole break .... u dont have to keep ur aunt no company she has her own sister to do that .

Thank you beta, for listening to my petulant whining... and yes, the whole "butter wouldn't melt in my mouth" scene plays out around strangers... the nice little old lady that tips the nurses and aides and slaps a 20 on the pastors,,, yup.. get this... my Aunt ( moms sister) is coming to stay with us for a week soon, and my mother is trying to orchestrate my every move for when she is here. like " dont say things that will offend her" ( she's very religious)" take her shopping" Mom knows that I LOATHE shopping... strange thing is, she is so freakin concerned about her sister being bored here for 6 days.. what about ME? Ive been here 24/ 7 365 now for over 3 months, I'm tellin ya,, I'm gonna snap one of these days and tell her exactly what i think.. until then. I shall continue to vent my frustrations here, amongst my newly found friends, who understand. thank you all for listening to my vents !~nutz

so sorry - how long have you been doing this- my mom was not treated good at brothers he was the son that never left home- she wanted to live with me so i said ok- he now wants to refy the house to get $39 grand for himself to get new siding, carpet lino. etc. - my other siblings said tell him no- and if my mom starts to treat me badly - for my own good and husbands i will put her in a home- it is hard enough as it is without her being mean to me- i heard that medicaid is the way to go- and for some reason our parents seem to treat strangers better- so sorry for your pain

Today, the theme of accusation was "you were sleeping so soundly that when I threw my blistex at your door, you didnt even awake ( there was another caregiver on duty at this time) my mother grilled me hard this morning accusing me of ignoring her needs and not treating her fairly " what did you do, drink yourself in oblivion? she asked ( I wish). I asked the caregiver to wake you up, but they woudln't do it, you told them not to wake you, Didn't you? No mom I said no such thing...
My response" Mom. I'm human I have to sleep sometimes. and Im so exhausted by the time i get to bed, a freight train wouldn't wake me. a sniff of disgust in her demeanor, and thats it.. today WE SHALL See what tomorrow brings.