Caring versus pretending to care.
I just went through another crisis with my Dad who had to have emergency surgery for a nearly ruptured, infected gallbladder..my Dad with dementia..it was a hellish experience. My Dad eventually fought the infection after surgery and recovered but it was very serious and really could have died from this. I dealt with taking care of my Mom, and my Dad through this crisis completely alone ..aside from hired help.
Anyway besides the obvious stress.. I am really being bothered lately by those relatives who suddenly pretend to care while there is a crisis. They will text me constantly and want to be "posted" on my dad's condition, send syrupy texts professing they care.
My moms (younger and healthier sister)... is less then an hours drive from Mom but hasnt bothered to come and see her for at least a year..but she texts me to be sure and tell my Mom that she is thinking about them, worried about them, and that they care. Ugh... nothing can make me angrier!! If she cared she would be relieving my stress by sitting with my mom at the hospital.. not sending some stupid text l!!
My sister (who is currently unemployed and I offered to pay her to come), suddenly stops texting me or answering my texts about my Dad... until he is back at home and the crisis is over.. now she sends occasional texts.... how is mom and dad? I wanted to tell her Dad passed away a week ago!!!
This is really partially a vent and partially.. I just cannot get over the anger of this!!! It just seems to me if you do not care enough to actually take time out of your pathetic life.. YOU DO NOT CARE!!! Just own it FGS!! I hate this attempt at making yourself feel better.. at my expense.
Am I being crazy for letting this bother me? I really don't want to always be angry about this .. it is a pattern .. every crisis I deal with with my parents goes the exact same way. I am more upset with their luke warm attempts at caring.. then if they just ignored the situation all together.
Well.. i feel a little better getting that off my chest.. Anyone else deal with this ..suggestions on how to better deal for my own health and stress level?