Caring for the uncaring.
A post I skimmed yesterday struck a nerve. It was someone who felt jealous of the caregivers who had nice, loving and supportive parents, because she/he did not have kind and loving and supportive parents.
I, too, have had mean, abusive parents, and now is our turn to take care of them. They remain mean, ungrateful and self-serving; Dad has accused my sister and me of meddling in his affairs, and even went as far as to say he doesn't trust us.
I paid for a $2000.00 car repair ( body damage to his car that 'wasn't his fault') because he messed up his credit card ( was as simple as replacing an expired card with a new updated card; all he had to do was activate it...huge dilemma!) and he took over 4 weeks to write me a valid check for reimbursement.
This issue is two-fold. First, he didn't remember why he owed me that large of an amount, thus the reminders. Second, I truly believe that he did not want to pay me back. WHY? I don't know... he has always screwed me over with money. WHY? I do not know, cuz he's an a$$.
He did not record the two checks he wrote (the first check was not signed and had the date whited out and re-written), so my sister (POA) had to review it with him, and I could hear him yelling in the background " I don't owe her ANYTHING!!!!"
Two overnight emergency room visits, a weeks vacation from my job spent on him, and thousands of dollars in commission ( I work in sales), and this SOB is nickle and diming me for damage to his car that HE did!
I completely empathize with the poster who is resentful toward people who say ' At least you still have both of your parents'. That statement is right up there with people who tell a young woman after a miscarriage that 'You're young, you can try again'.
I know I'm ranting, but I sit across the desk from all sorts of situations everyday. The most frequent buyer from me are parents looking out for their kids best interest while protecting their own.
I was never me on the other side of the desk; my parents always looked after their own best interests. And now I ask myself, If they turned their backs on me, why am I giving them every day off, my vacation time, and losing money at work when they still don't even care enough to take care of themselves, and resist the help that we've offered them.
Should we just leave them alone to deal with themselves and the bed they've made? ( My Dad used to always say " You made your bed, now you'll have to lie in it."
It just seems cruel and unloving, but maybe he was right.