My loving parents had 15 children, everyone thinks being in a big family must be nice, great but little do they know the problems.

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taking care of two family can be very hard, especially when just one adult is father lived with my youngest brother(momma boy)he never put down anyone else in his mortgage,so father has been paying utility and rent. as a family we move in finding out that my father has advance dementia and alzheimers disease and everything else that comes with it. we are now paying our bills plus my brothers. our problem is we now have to move out of (momma boys) house cause we couldnt keep up with mortgage,bills and our bills plus car payment and insurance. we also have a 15 year old that was taking 4 advance classes,she had drop to ds cause of everything that is going on. as parents is hurts to see her going down on her education the last thing we want as family we have 2 bros. that are out of state that say they will help but they have their lives and they can only do so little. we have 1 sister that is here (not in same house) that can only help when not at work. as my father caregiver I tell myself that i can do this. my loving caring husband has been with me through all of this, he has help me raise my 3 children from another man. we have been married for 15 wonderful years. he also had a child with a love one he lost when baby was only 19 days old. but she is ours. so just like everyone out there that cares for their parents I will doing any thing for my father as his daughter. bank want the house we are tying to do our best to keep up with everything. we have 1 car for doc.,appt.,school, work,etc..... my question to anyone.. what can we do as to getting some help.


Hi Andrea, I'm glad you were able to pose your question.
May I ask who has Power of Attorney (POA) over your dad? Mama's boy? May I know why you're paying for your brother's bills? Is he handicap? Disabled and unable to work?

Were you all kicked out of the house by the bank because you couldn't make payment? It's hard to give advice or comment without much info. I could give you what popped in my head but...I could be wrong with not much detail information. Hence, my asking these questions.

How far along is your dad in his dementia stage? If you can please describe how he is now so that I have an idea. Is he still lucid (still himself)? Is he now vague? Depending on how far he is in his dementia, it's difficult to suggest where to turn to. I'm not an expert but I read here on this site that the different stages of dementia can qualify for this or that hospice care, nursing care, respite care, etc...
Let me assure you that there is help available. As bookworm says, more details about the situation will help us make suggestions about how to go about getting the help.

How old is your father? Is he on Medicaid?

Do I understand correctly that your family moved into your brother's house where your father is living? Are you also maintaining a separate residence? If the band takes your brother's house, where will your family go? Is your brother still living in the house?

A few more details will help.
so sorry my situation is a long one and kind of new at this. but I have poa over my father,after a long fight. my brother is in jail and he is the reason that some of my silblings want nothing with house and his bills... bank has find out and brother never put no one else on his mortgage, my father is on the seventh stage of dementia doc. says its advance dementia. he has no idea who we are has problems with swallowing his food he pockets food in checks. can't swallow pills.
So, now it is just your family and your father living in the house? And the house is in your brother's name? The bank has started foreclosure proceedings? I'm trying to be clear about the house.

As to your father's care, I wonder if he would now qualify for Hospice services, perhaps in a hospice house?

Is Father on Medicaid?

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