Caring for my mother-in-law in my home.
My mother in law has water on the brain. She also has diabetes, and deals with severe incontinence as well as a gambling and hoarding. In the 8 years I have known her she has been hospitalized and picked up from various places because of her going into diabetic shock. She has always gambled at bingo causing my husband and his brother to lose several homes and belongings due to her money hungry attitude. She has literally given them a terrible childhood. She has also told her deceased husband that if he didn't give her money she would divorce him, simple as that. This is the mentality we are dealing with. Greed, all the way around. She has a extremely bad hoarding issue that has gotten her into trouble losing a place more than once. She recently had an episode where she was found on her floor without oxygen to her brain for a long period of time. Her body was septic and we almost lost her. When she recovered and went into rehab she plateaued so they had her leave. Having no where to go and not able to live alone by recommendation of the social worker, she came with us. We have a small 2 bedroom duplex and a basement. My husband and I gave up one room and moved to the basement when my cousin moved in to go to school. Then when MIL moved in she took the other room and our 6 year old now sleeps in our room downstairs. We have given so much to help her and she refuses to go to assisted living or anything that will take her money. She will sacrifice anything at the drop of a hat to get money for bingo, and she has ditched us several times during family dinners and such to go to bingo all of a sudden. Now that she is with us i do her laundry because she is a fall risk and it is in the basement. She cannot cook because of her brain damage she will forget and it is not safe. She is insulin dependent and has several other meds. She won't take any of them even with several alarms and reminders. she has re-used her adult diapers to have more money for bingo. She has lied to organizations and churches about her well being to get free money or food etc. I am waiting on her hand and foot, and we are still trying to find her a place of her own. She thinks because I don't let her get away with things (like sitting in pee for hours) in my home that I am being mean and has run us ragged. We asked her to pick up her room she is staying in because she has hoarded clothes in there and we have a oil heater we are afraid she is going to catch on fire. She doesn't like our rules and said she hated me and it really hurt us. I have really tried hard to keep things peaceful here and she is extremely ungrateful. I am not the only one who knows she is like this.Our whole family knows how she is. She thinks we are trying to kick her out because she heard me ask the VA if they help with assisted living. I honestly think she is mad because I don't take any of her manipulative games and I call her out and nip it in the butt. She is refusing to help us help her and wants to spend all her money and not pay bills. Now we are at a point she has made it very clear she doesn't want to listen to anything so we can try to live more peaceful and she refuses to go to assisted living. We know if she moves on her own she will die from not taking her meds or eating. We are both fed up with her and her using us as her servants, and her saying she wants something and we need to do it instead of asking if we could help. I do not want to involve APS because it just makes it worse. I feel for my husband because I have bent over backwards trying to make it work and be nice and I know he is hurting from her showing us she would rather have her money than family.