Caring for mom; any feedback would be most appreciated.
My mom had knee replacement surgery in December against my better judgment, which I plainly stated to my sister several times over the past year. Mom was in rehab for a few weeks but she has never been the same since she came out of the anesthesia. She warped speed into Alzheimer’s and dementia which I knew would happen @81 years old. One day, I find out my sister is closing down her apartment and moving my mother in with her and her husband. There was no discussion with me, no “hey this is what I’m doing I don’t care if you don’t like it“ just a sudden rushed moving and now is trying to manipulate and guilt me into rolling up my sleeves and helping on the weekends. She hired a day caregiver five days a week. My sister and her husband work a 9 to 5 Monday to Friday job. I am a flight attendant and I am never home... she is getting more frustrated with me because I don’t have a lot of time to help and when she wants me to jump in, I keep telling her I need more advanced notice than a few days to get out of a trip. If I don’t fly? I don’t get paid. I have no pension as it was tossed during BK after 9/11; I'm single, no kids and am putting max amt into my 401K, I have to work as much as possible to be able to retire at 69! I don’t want to be flying in my 70’s & 80’s as many do now! I love my mom but I wasn’t asked nor did I sign up for 24/7 care of my mom every weekend until? My sister needs to hire a weekend caregiver if her weekends are so dang important! A few friends of mine that fly have told me I need to sit down with my family and explain to them how I get paid, how important my job is, what 1001 responsibilities I have as I fly the head attendant position which has literally 1000 more responsibilities...and that I’m not getting on an airplane and flying overseas and then having days off to sightsee and then fly home. I have a 2-3 hour drive 1 way to work, I have to pull up necessary paperwork for all my flights; brief my flight attendants, my pilots, the agents, make sure all safety equipment is available & working, that my plane is equipped with lav supplies, the galleys are stocked correctly, the plane is clean, we board on time, leave on time, deal with seat dupes, sick people, lost items, answering questions, stowing everyone’s carry one; dealing with inflight emergency’s; write reports; liaison with the pilots the entire flight; land, get off, find our next gate, do it all over again and I am flying domestic flights two sometimes three segments per day loading, offloading, 300 people per flight. Plus the different times zones, getting up on the East Coast at 4 AM which is 1 AM Pacific time, working a 12 hour duty day, then getting to another hotel with just enough time to shower maybe work out and sleep. If I don’t fly, I don’t get paid. I have to bring my own food as airport food is too expensive & too unhealthy...There’s just so much that my job entails I’m hoping that my sit down with my sister and her husband in the next few days can bring some relief off my shoulders because I feel Guilty however my flying is my job and my career. People that do not fly or are not in the aviation industry or the military, do not understand what my job entails. The girl I worked with today, I talked her ear off but she understands because she is also being a caregiver to her mom but she’s married and has her husband's support Any feedback would be most appreciated. Thank you