Caregiving is so much work that sometimes I just sit and cry.

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I moved my Mom and Dad in with our family last year Dad has Alzheimers and they only stayed about 5 months (they lived next door to us for the past 20 years) I ended up moving them back home and hiring help daily (very expensive) then we ended up putting Dad in a home, we kept help for Mom then she really needed to be with someone more all day. We moved her in with us again about 3 weeks ago re did the downstairs again and it is fixed up so nice she has her own bedroom and bathroom and a kitchenette. But I am so damn tired!!! My Dad just fel and broke his hip this is the second broken hip in 7 months!!! He never had a broken bone till he went into a home. So now he's in skilled nursing for rehab (he's 91) had surgery all is well but when the rehab is over I need to find him a new home because I will not have him go back to that place. Meanwhile Mom is here again and has dementia I have 2 teenagers too. I have 2 deadbeat brothers that do pretty much nothing for their parents. It's really sad. I am so drained at this point and one brother is away on an island vacation how wonderful!!! They do nothing to help I for years have bought groceries taken to Dr. Appts, cleaned, husband cuts grass and all yardwork (2 acres) cooked dinners and now I moved Mom in with me and continue to do everything . I will be selling her home though they will need the money for the house for care for Dad and maybe Mom but that is all up to me to sell it, clean it out sell all belongings It is so much work I feel overwhelmed at times I just sit and cry. I can do this I would rather be in this situation than where they are I know they feel guilty and thats a bad place to be. Sorry if I went on too much I just needed to talk to someone.

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To Micheleangel, you started this thread a while back. Just wondering how you are doing with things, and how are things going for your Dad?

Anne said, "Do your best and leave the rest to God." And, "When you can do no more, ask God for help." Sometimes I wonder if we would fare better asking for God's help FIRST, before doing anything? Guess I'm preaching at myself, again, as a reminder. Just want you to know I'm praying for you. Take care! :)
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Thanks Austin I agree but we are having a meeting on Tues with the therapists and all and hopefully he will be able to leave there soon. I haven't had much luck with Nursing Homes and I want to get him back in an assisted living place, we haven't found one just yet.I have a hard time visiting him in there the place is just so depressing. Take care now, Michele
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Michealeangel I hate to say it but from being is nursing homes so the pt.s think I work there those alarms they put on the bed and wheelchairs when they go off the only ones who are concerned are the visitors I have had to go outside because so many were ringing at the same time the only way to get their attention is when someone falls or is about because then they have a lot of paperwork to do and have to call a doc and the family. I am on a soapbox about tbut get in touch with the ombudsmen your Dad should not have to move away from the nurses station and the other pt.s wife is not paying any more than you and being 70 he should have to be moved
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Oneandonly, at 96 years old can you imagine having a change of routine if only for three days. It is extremely difficult not to feel guilt even when taking care of yourself, but you do not want to end up being a caregiver death statistic. Just make sure that you consider her feelings as well. It isn't always easy when we are the ones providing.

You have to know in your heart, you can only do what you can do. Three days are for your renewal of spending time with family will not hurt her. I can picture the fear myself if someone told me I was going somewhere for a few days with no control over anything happening. Trusting is really hard to do.

You can call her every day to check on her and tell her you love her and you'll be there soon. Make sure to reassure her. Even when you get home, do something a little extra special for her as a thank you.

My heart goes out to you. Mine are in assisted living now and I thank God for the ability to have that for them and that they can afford it. Don't worry about venting. That is what this is for. Go enjoy the wedding!
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oneandonly, Hi nice to meet you I just typed you something and well I don't know where it went!! It will probably show up somewhere else. Anyhow this is truly a special place!!! I am sorry that you are going through this it is so hard and I do understand at times you just don't know how you will continue!! I will pray for you and remember that you are a special person for caring so much about your Mom many people wouldn't even attempt to take care of their aging parents. I hope you have a Good Day today and I feel blessed to meet you.Take care now Love, Michele
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Hi oneandonly,Nice to meet you. It is a Godsend for sure. I'm sorry for what you are going through, it's very hard. I will keep you in my prayers. You are special for what you are doing for your Mom just remember that. There are people who wouldn't even try to take care of their parents. God Bless you I hope today is a good day for you. Love, Michele
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hi Micheleangel,
welcome to this site. I think it is a Godsend!!! I don't post often but I read it daily and it helps me make it thru the day.
My 96year old mom lives with me for the last 3 yrs. All there upstairs but the body is not so good but is very stubborn about certian things although lately it seems everything bothers her. Recently took her to assisted living facility to visit because we have a family wedding out of state in Aug and she has to stay there for a few days. She liked it but only because she knows it is for a few days. Then she started to get agitated thinking about going with a million questions. I told her that this is her only option since she can't stay home alone for a weekend.( I do leave her now for a few hrs alone but not overnight. I am an only child....Dad is gone.....I am sooooooo stressed about this along with all the other factors of caring for her daily.
Just wanted to vent since this is the only place where everyone here is in the same boat............I pray for patience every day.......don't think He hears me.
oneandonly
PS I love the jokes!!!
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funny stuff I love it nice to read when you got a few and laugh i miss laughing!!!
love, Michele
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see what happens when you encourage me. I promise this is the last one today!

Three nurses went to heaven, and were awaiting their turn with St. Peter to plead their case to enter the pearly gates.

The first nurse said, "I worked in an emergency room. We tried our best to help patients, even though occasionally we did lose one. I think I deserve to go to heaven." St. Peter looks at her file and admits her to heaven.

The second nurse says, "I worked in an operating room. It's a very high stress environment and we do our best. Sometimes the patients are too sick and we lose them, but overall we try very hard." St. Peter looks at her file and admits her to heaven.

The third nurse says, "I was a case manager for an HMO."

St. Peter looks at her file. He pulls out a calculator and starts punching away at it furiously, constantly going back to the nurse's file. After a few minutes St. Peter looks up, smiles, and says, "Congratulations! You've been admitted to heaven … for five days!"
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I'm on a roll..... LOL


A woman, calling Mount Sinai Hospital, said, "Hello, I want to know if a patient is getting better."

The voice on the other end of the line said, "Do you know the patient's name and room number?"

She said, "Yes, darling! She's Sarah Finkel, in Room 302."

He said, "Oh, yes. Mrs. Finkel is doing very well. In fact, she's had two full meals, her blood pressure is fine, she's going to be taken off the heart monitor in a couple of hours and if she continues this improvement, Dr. Cohen is going to send her home Tuesday."

The woman said, "Thank God! That's wonderful! Oh! That's fantastic! That's wonderful news!"

The man on the phone said, "From your enthusiasm, I take it you must be a close family member or a very close friend!"

She said, "I'm Sarah Finkel in 302! Cohen, my doctor, doesn't tell me a word!"
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