Caregiving is so much work that sometimes I just sit and cry.

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I moved my Mom and Dad in with our family last year Dad has Alzheimers and they only stayed about 5 months (they lived next door to us for the past 20 years) I ended up moving them back home and hiring help daily (very expensive) then we ended up putting Dad in a home, we kept help for Mom then she really needed to be with someone more all day. We moved her in with us again about 3 weeks ago re did the downstairs again and it is fixed up so nice she has her own bedroom and bathroom and a kitchenette. But I am so damn tired!!! My Dad just fel and broke his hip this is the second broken hip in 7 months!!! He never had a broken bone till he went into a home. So now he's in skilled nursing for rehab (he's 91) had surgery all is well but when the rehab is over I need to find him a new home because I will not have him go back to that place. Meanwhile Mom is here again and has dementia I have 2 teenagers too. I have 2 deadbeat brothers that do pretty much nothing for their parents. It's really sad. I am so drained at this point and one brother is away on an island vacation how wonderful!!! They do nothing to help I for years have bought groceries taken to Dr. Appts, cleaned, husband cuts grass and all yardwork (2 acres) cooked dinners and now I moved Mom in with me and continue to do everything . I will be selling her home though they will need the money for the house for care for Dad and maybe Mom but that is all up to me to sell it, clean it out sell all belongings It is so much work I feel overwhelmed at times I just sit and cry. I can do this I would rather be in this situation than where they are I know they feel guilty and thats a bad place to be. Sorry if I went on too much I just needed to talk to someone.


Just to releive a little stress please read this.....

Grandma had never experienced a sick day in her life, so she didn't
take it kindly when she ended up in the hospital for observation after
fainting (resulting in a bad fall). By the time a pair of husky interns
got Grandma tucked into bed, she had managed to complain about
everything:the temperature, the lights, the skimpy gown, the food and
the mattress, especially, the mattress.Suddenly, Grandma spotted a
small plastic item with a button, attached to a cord. "What's that?"
she demanded.
"If you need anything in the middle of the night, Grandma,"
said one of the interns, "just press that button."
"What does it do, ring a bell?" she asked.
"No, it turns on a light in the hall for the nurse on duty," the intern replied.
"A light in the hall?" responded Grandma. "Look, I'm the sick one around here.
If the night nurse needs a light on in the hall,
she can get up and switch it on herself!"
Neon, I know where the wocky part comes from. You are too funny. I hope poor Micheleangel thinks so. She is tired. What can we do to help her? Chocolate? Massage? Hot Tub? Manicure? Pedicure? Calgon...take me away... Better yet, "Up up and away in a beautiful balloon..." LOVED your story above, Neon.

Sorry, Micheleangel. Two wacked out Caregivers. Sorry, Neon. I should speak for myself. OK, one, at least. Real tired, too. Lots to do, always. Lately I feel like I'm on a numb run... Family dynamics, solo worrying, caring, giving, doing. No thanks in return, and little help from family. They say they want to, but... Then there's no thanks from the one who receives the help... Iactually shouldn't complain too much. I have a wonderful husband and son. Micheleangel, I hope venting helps you as it does us, at times. Didn't mean to laugh, and certainly wasn't laughing at you. We just understand it all too well. Your story is like so many. And we share the tired, emotionally draining parts. You've been through a lot lately. And you deserve a medal for doing as well as you are. Hang in there. God will give you strength. It's hard, but not impossible. Just remember to take care of you. A nap, bubble bath, good night's sleep, walk on the beach, world cruise. Aaaaahhhhh to dream! Take care. Do your best and leave the rest to God. When you can do no more, ask God for help. Praying for you.
Ah yes! To dream, the impossible dream, to fight the unbeatable foe (alzheimer's/dementia). I would soooooooooooo love a vacation right at this moment.

Michele, you have a lot on your plate as well! I've been away most of the last two weeks, so trying to catch up still. Nice to meet you. This group has grown so much in the last few months, in many ways. Hope you find this place as comforting as I do. These friends are true angels.

Anne, how are you? You have been so busy too.

Neon, funny as ever, love the granny joke.

You all have a great evening! Praying for strength for all of us, just to get through these everyday uphill battles.
I love it!! Anything that makes me laugh at this point I'll take it, please keep it up
Love, Michele
Hi all, Went to see my Dad today he's doing ok. I want to get him out of this place (skilled nursing) I am checking on some permanent places, wish I could bring him back to my house but I don't see that happening. We are keeping this from my Mom that he broke his hip she can't handle that stuff. So she keeps saying boy you are running around a lot, where are you going and all, it's pretty crazy at my house. I have been feeding a stray cat and he told all his friends about me oh brother what to do now? I just saw 2 new ones!!! My Dad likes to sing and he was singing at night and the social worker said he is keeping the room mate awake so they want to move my Dad down the hall - all the way at the end!!! He is now next to the nurses station and I asked if they might move the other man who is only like 70 and can walk and doesn't have dementia and they said no that his wife doesn't want him moved ( he had a stroke) I am worried because my Dad doesn't understand that he had broken his hip and shouldn't be standing and all. If he wakes up and no one is there then oh boy so I asked if they could put a monitor on him I sure hope they do that. He is far from the nurses station. I brought him some hershey kisses and wow was he happy!!! He loves candy. I am being called by Hubby as if I''m not busy enough we are putting hardwood flooring down and my help is needed, Take care all Love, Michele
Ps I said a special prayer for all my new friends today I'm so glad to meet you!!!
You're a sweet lady, Michele, and your parents are more the blessed to have you looking after them. So glad you're coming to these threads.
Hardwood flooring eh? Oh Yes, I had to help with ours too! Hubby needs someone to fetch things, and help decide how the pattern would look best. Hope you can find a better facility for your dad. Will pray for you and everyone here extra tonight. Take Care.
Well today is another day. The sun is shining and I see lots of work to do in the yard!!! Ok I didn't mean for that to come out that way, The sun is shining and its a beautiful day, that's better. I think if I can get out I will try to buy some flowers to plant that will make me happy. Some one keeps popping my balloon though when I get on track I seem to always have someone drag me down this time it's my bro. again he can't seem to locate his Mother, lets see he hasn't seen her in 3 months or so and lives 45 minutes away. I won't bore you with the details but all I can say is guilt is a bad place to be, glad that's not me. Have a beautiful day all you fantastic, caring people I love you. Michele
Micheleangel, you are not responsible for your brother or his guilt or his inability to keep things straight give him the info tell him to write it down and he's on his own. My brother doesn't seem to have the sense to keep the address off his envelopes when I send cards to their house , or to write it down in their address book just his daughter will email me as she has done this week because she graduates, ha than said she was coming for a visit ha won't hold my breath be as blue as this page. She wants something for graduation she will get it I will not judge her because of her parents I sure wouldn't want anyone to do that to me Lordy, lordy, I'd really be in a pickle. I have written, emailed called, left messages over the last two years and no replies, but did get a reply when I got a little nasty and said fine if you don't want a relationship with me just say so and I will stop trying, in the last Christmas card, I rec'd a micky mouse card, not even a christmas micky mouse that said after the holiday I would receive a big long letter only problem is didn't tell me what holiday or what year so guess what forget it. If you really want a relationship with someone you make an effort, brother or no brother these people have made no effort at all. This doesn't have anything to do with my mother they are afraid I will ask them to do something, they don't know I would never do that because I know they wouldn't that was why I moved my parents down here 650 miles from them they lived a hour 1/2 away and didn't even stop in once in 10 years. So I am not blind. If the time ever gets here I will be brutally honest with them and tell them these things until then I will just act like a aunt and give kudos to my niece for a job well done. Plant plant plant I have done that this year, still planting, I have one dog if I plant something she wants to dig it up so it has been a tussle but guess who is winning, yep me. LOL dirt soothes my soul perhaps because that is where I came from initially.
Here is another one I came upon hope it helps to releive the stress laughter is the BEST medicine and we all need a good dose at least once a day You also have our prayers daily in multiple numbers I might add we are all a brother and sisterhood of Hearts minds and Matter whether our parents know it or not. now sit down have a chuckle than do something special for you sit in the yard with your favorite drink, have a manicure, pedicure, I need one of those really bad, lunch with someone anyone who is funny and good to talk to or read a chapter of a good book in the tub and don't forget play your favorite music as loud as you can and dance with the vacuum cleaner if you have to I do yep I'm wacky but whatever works, here gooooooooooooooooos.............

Five surgeons are discussing who makes the best patients to operate on. The first surgeon says, "I like to see accountants on my operating table, because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered."

The second responds, "Yeah, but you should try electricians! Everything inside them is color coded."

The third surgeon says, "No, I really think librarians are the best; everything inside them is in alphabetical order."

The fourth surgeon chimes in: "You know, I like construction workers … those guys always understand when you have a few parts left over at the end, and when the job takes longer than you said it would."

But the fifth surgeon shut them all up when he observed: "You're all wrong. Politicians are the easiest to operate on. There's no guts, no heart, and no spine, and the head and butt are interchangeable."

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