Burnout Blues Cycle.
I would like other's comments on my situation. I am in a bad burnout cycle, caring for my parents who live with me. Dad (83) has stroke and mobility issues. Mom exhibits dementia onset, and is a controller. The constant stress of hospital visits for Dad and arguments with mom have taken its toll on my health.
About 6 weeks ago, I fractured 3 ribs. The slip and fall was caused by insomnia medication and the dizziness that followed. The insomnia was due to stressing with my parents and worry. Previous to this, I had bronchitis, ear aches, you name it. All stress induced, I believe.
Do I get any slack for my own health issues? No. After the initial fall, they seem to dismiss any of my pain, etc. They forget that I can get sick or hurt, just as they can and do. Mom provokes me on purpose, as a child would. For example, she nags that I don't pay my bills fast enough. Unlike her, just because I don't pay them THAT SAME DAY WHEN IT COMES IN THE MAIL, doesn't mean I wont get to it on my own time schedule. Usually, when she gets on that kick, I just ignore it. Now that I am in pain myself, I snap back.
So, how do you control a controller? Specifically, how can I get her to STOP commenting, critiquing, and nagging about my own personal mail? She waits each day for the mail as if it's a race to see who gets there first. She begs me not to get my own PO box because she is afraid her mail will be diverted to it. I am at a loss because this ongoing fight is never resolved.
Incredibly, I can deal with my father's physical health issues much easier than I can deal with mom's paranoia and manipulations.
Any comments about techniques to deal with controlling parents in general, or advice for my own situation are greatly appreciated.