Caregiving as a way to inherit stuff?

i like your posts dusty but i like to kid you about being a little " out there " ..
i think vegaslady was saying your post hit home with her today .
its freaking horrifying to put your life on hold to care for someone else . one could end up in jail or on the street messing with a pathologically lying dementia patient ..

There'd be more $ in medicaid if the government would stop giving it out to people who never paid into it.. And I don't mean spouses!!!

i had a sharp tongued aps lady told me once i should be paying half of mine and moms bills . on what planet does one caregive for no compensation then pay half of the elders household bills ?
not too bright , that one . the next time we met she never said a word while her co worker and i conversed . she must have sensed id bite her face off ..

i dont think any elder wants to see their assets gobbled up at end of life and especially by a sick system where corporations profit and care home employees work for sustenance wages . ( if that ) .
if the elder wants to be in their home and someone in the family is willing to make it happen , good for them if the assets are saved and passed down .
thats fair enough , imo . jeanne gibbs makes a great point tho . best be compensated legally as the work progresses than to run the all or nothing risk of being badly damaged near the end . the gamble will scare you to death , as you lose wages and jeopardize your own future by caregiving .

I just wish you hadn't mentioned a rare happy ending, shakingoffdust. That wasn't something I needed to be reminded of today.

Well here in Ireland land was and still is everything handed down generation to generation. Still and the main part of the "depresssion" here in Ireland now is peoples obsession with land its in our blood!!

My mum was left a share in the house by her parents and so it goes on.... my mum and alot here in Ireland would rather DIE alone at the bottom of the stairs not to be discovered for a week than hand over her house to a NH and thats what she intends to do WHY she wants US to have it. My self and my two brothers want whats best for her care my sisters would rather she die at the bottom of stairs bla bla than have any of her inheritence taken away! Go figure! As long as im here holding the fort on my own and looking after mum thier inheritence is safe but id rather have my life back and mum safe in a NH than any part of this house.

Yup, there are definitely people who think they have a right to their parents' money no matter what the parents need themselves. And there are people who do the caregiving hoping for a reward in the will.

But it doesn't seem to be the majority, at least not of caregivers on this site.

I think that caregivers should be compensated for their work. I think it should be at the time the work is performed, not delayed until after the recipient's death.

Yup I hear you!

Some believe it because it's what their parents told them their entire life. My husband is up in Spokane right now dealing with his mother "the kid gets it all", who supposedly had care insurance, only to find out that "care insurance" was for a place that required her to sign over all assets. So much for her will, and for "the kid gets it all".

And no, he would NOT be amenable to death panels. He's just in shock. He was raised in this house from the time he was 2 (he's 64 now). He'd planned on it staying in the family. It probably will, we'll just have to move up north, so we can become caregivers to not only my mother, but his mother as well.

We also believe that the state should not foot the bill if there are assets to pay. However, they don't generally take half the money - it's generally all of it.

And yes, my mother and father also saved this money for us. My mother is still alive, and works very hard to not touch the principal. She's very proud that she's left something for her heirs. If she absolutely has to go into a nursing home, we'll put her there. We believe it's cheaper to hire homecare help as needed.