Caregiving and painful relationship.
So I'm not a caregiver yet, but soon enough because my mother is getting older, having more health problems, bit by bit, I see it coming. I am an only child and the only family she has, only person in her life too as she is a complete isolationist. She and I have a very painful relationship and I've spent much of my life in therapy and struggling with childhood issues, unsuccessfully so far to find a satisfying adult life. And now what little space I had from her is going to be gone as I have to step in to help her. Even with caregiving services there's no way that I won't have to have much greater involvement with her and I already feel my mental health slipping. Yet if I say, no I can't be the one to do this, there is no one else. Whatever she's done, I don't know that it is bad enough to justify leaving her to the state to manage her affairs in old age. I don't know what to do - either I protect myself or I sacrifice myself for someone who didn't do the same for me when it really was her job.