I believe if all caregivers shared tips and worked together we would have a very powerful resource.

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I posted a few days ago asking for suggestions about how to approach family members as I am a paid caregiver. Yes, I get to go to my own home at night, but I still have issues with being exhausted,stressed,ect.On top of that I have the added pressure of having the family to answer to. My issues are as important as anyone else.. But, like i said, I figured it out. I will confer with her husband who is 84, not in very good health himself, but is still very sharp and able to make decisions. If he says,"I don't know" or "I don't care", I will make reasonabe choices based on common sense and thier welfare and discuss it with him again. You would think as many people as there is on this sight, someone would give me some insight from the families point of view. Thanks for letting me vent.

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Lindam, hi medicalman just wanted to tell ya that maybe just take time for you for a week you know a vacation if you feel it is work related if it is family related maybe talk to who is closest to you for some resolve on matters. Do not be offended about what I am going to say but this is really for family caregivers not us that do it professionally and discussing it from a paid point of view might be offensive to some, not that you are doing it intentionally and mean any thing by it but I help take care of my mom personally as a family care giver not paid so I can relate to the worry and frustrations as a family care giver on issues but I also do it as a living to and because some take it we are paid care givers it is taken differently as if complaining about being a professional care givers or complaining about the ones paying us. I hope you understand where I am coming from because I do not want you to feel bad, just meaning it to help you. I do often bring in my paid care giver side to things in my comments but just to say I understand both sides and being a paid care giver is a little different - not that one can not understand things from a paid care giver point of view. we have to be sensitive on how others on here may feel about that as I have read from some others comments about me saying things from the paid care giver side and I understand what they are feeling about that and it is about helping one another from a personal family care giver views. I also want to be sensitive to you about what I am saying and do not want you to get mad because I know what your meaning so please forgive me if you will. As far as what you are saying sounds as if you are stressed some what personally maybe with who you are working for so I am not really sure what exactly your asking for help on but if you are asking what to do about your work situation like not getting any time off maybe taking some time off is needed for you as others have maybe suggested and hopefully the family will understand you need a break - am I kind of understanding what your saying? Maybe not getting along with a particular family member for some reason? Well just wanted to try to help ya some if I could and hope you are OK with me trying to help you with the paid care giver situation on here.
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Dear sunshine caregiver thank you for the kind words. I am one who takes caring for people to heart in my care giving to help others paid or not so I just want you to know I care either way, because I also have a sick relative - my mother and I can say I understand from both sides personally and professionally which is a good thing because it helps me relate from both points of view. I really do not have a lot to vent about with things becuase either way God leads my ship and I realize it all depends on how one believes. Also believe it or nor I believe you can learn from any one a family member or another care professional or just any one. It is not about me being a professional care giver - it is about people, I just so happen to understand from both angles on matters and yea I like to offer help here if any one cares to listen, even if I put in from a professional point of view it doed not mean others do not wnat to hear it. I enjoy this and I learn from reading, after all let me say it does not matter if you are a professional care giver or family care giver we are dealing with a lot of the same issues and people to care to hear. I am not sure why you say burn out because I am not burned out, I just say you have to take breaks and it does not matter what side of the coin your on simply because you "can not" pay some one to care. One thing I will say personally is I admire your love for your mom and taking you a little break here and there is OK for you to do for your well being - that is all I was saying. You most certainly have my respect for what you do and I wish every one cared for their parents like you express with your mom, so my compliments to you. See this comes from a personal side, not professionally. I will also say I do not give what is called professional advice because that is not what I do. I just so happen to work in the health care field and just understand things from both sides and care about people. Some times I share what I see people go through because I can relate and yes I do feel that helps me be more sensitive and understanding to others. I do not want any one mad at me for just caring or offer what little I may be able to offer. After all we are all human and feel in our hearts!
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It's true, unfortunately, that many experts don't know the drill from our point of view. We have to be the advocate, and this site is turning into a powerful tool. It's the best site I've ever been involved with. Thanks for all of your contributions, too, Cat. We have so many who are giving from what they've learned in the trenches.

When I first tried to get my book published, I was told I didn't have the "credentials." I thought, "Twenty years and seven elders and I don't have credentials!" Caregivers have credentials that no one else can offer. That's why support from those who've been there helps.

Carol
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Thanks for your kind words Carol. I agree wholeheartedly with you on quality time... the offer of advice & tips for getting approved for a PT/INR device stills stands.

I think if all of us caregivers share tips for how they accomplished something or got the system to work FOR us we would have a pretty powerful resource.
I trust the people on this network more than I would any salesperson or sorry to say, many experts & social workers who tell but haven't been there done that like you - who wrote the book & all of us who learn & benefit from your insight and wisdom. And each of us as we learn something to share too. It makes me feel good & empowered to share / teach rather than just vent.

I know that if I knew then what I learned along the way, I would have had 6 months of free time for my mom (which matters because we never get time back)

Happy Holidays
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Great news, Cat. Thanks for keeping us all informed. Anytime you can go out with your mom, and not have it be for a doctor appointment, you've won! Those doctor visits are so exhausting, and then no one has time for fun things.

Keep us posted,
Carol
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Hi everyone,
thought I would give you an update on the portable PT/INR meter for inhome testing. After 7 months we finally had the unit delivered to the house by a trainer. It was worth all of the research and battle to get the device - now my mom no longer needs to go up to 3 x week to her doctor's office for a needle-stick test. I am posting this because anyone who is a caregiver for someone with either a mechanical heart-valve or A-fib qualifies under Medicare, a Medicare-HMO/PPO or state Medi-Medi programs. It is a real lifesaver for both my mom & me - and her doctor is thrilled that it will keep compliance while giving her a better quality of life. Finally more time to go out without it being tacked on to a doctor visit.

If anyone has applied for one, or cares for a family member on anti-coag medications like coumadin or warfarin & wants more information just post & I will share what I learned and how to get it approved & delivered.
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I can only offer insights into the other side of the coin here. You wanted to know how to approach the family members right? I guess asking the right questions about what is working for the patients you care for and getting feedback from those patients would be helpful. I cannot imagine how you do what you do what you do.
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Backatcha, 195Austin!
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Thank you all so much for your encouragment I really don't know how most of you can be so giving when your lives are so difficult, bless you all.
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Cat You are the one who first welcomed me to this sight. Everytime I get upset and take things personal you are there to reassure me it's ok, Im ok, they are ok, and take a deep breath and regroup. I know you have your own load to carry and where you get the energy to help us is a God given grace of character. So thank you for all you do for me and others in this life, not just on this sight. God Bless We are here for you also.......
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