Caregiver's who are treated badly by the children of the people they are hired to care for.

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I have been providing Live-in Private Duty Caregiving for the past 4 and a half years and I have had many problems with the children of the Elder's I am caring for. Everything from verbal abuse to breach of agreement to not being paid, to bias and personal insults there seems to be consideration and support for everyone except the caregiver. We are not all abusers or thieves and we give up our inhibitions, our free time, our privacy, and so much more to care for someone else's Parents and we are hardly ever the subject of a common cause that looks out for us. I have been trying to find just one forum that speaks about all that we endure and what we sacrifice with no watchdog community to consider us or our well being.

13 Comments

saturn2015, as the patient continues to decline, the children will direct more of their Fear, Obligation and Guilt (FOG) in your direction. They need counseling; if they refuse, you should seek employment elsewhere.
Well, Saturn, you've come to the right place. Most of the caregivers on this site have suffered verbal abuse, allegations of stealing, are under-appreciated and work for NOTHING.

You'll find sympathetic ears and useful suggestions here. Welcome.
Search for recent posts by "ladee1." I think you'll find some common ground.
You've come to the right place. There is no need to tolerate any abuse. What you do is in big demand. You could find a job in any town, anywhere.
Thank you all so much for responding I was beginning to think I was alone in this, things have gotten worse for me the lady I was caring for has been fighting her sons to not put her into a nursing home but she had to go to the hospital on Friday and the had her sedated for more than 36 hours then they waited another 24 hours and then informed that the ""hospital" are putting her into a nursing home and that her son, who would not ever stay with her is moving into the house immediately and I have to move out. I pay rent here as part of my compensation, they plan to give me no notice, still owe me back pay and don't care if I end up in my car. They have said how grateful they are for the care I have been giving their Mother and even called me an Angel especially since she is very combative and they have not been able to keep a caregiver, to make matters worse my nephew was murdered by robbers on thanksgiving day and I now have to move instead of attending his funeral. Right now I don't know when they are going to show up and make me leave but I am packing and trying to find another job. Right now I feel that I don't want to do another care job, especially live-in so I am hoping that the law will allow me enough time to find a job and a place to live. I loved this Industry when I first took a vocation almost 5 years ago to help make it possible for Seniors to remain in their homes but it has been the most difficult, thankless experience of my life. The only good thing about this, is that I will finally be out of a bad environment. Wish me luck...
Saturn, apply for unemployment, you are entitled. You also have tenant rights, they have to serve eviction notices properly.
I agree; you paid rent; you have tenant rights. They have to give you notice.

See if you can find a pro bono landlord tenant attorney, or a clinic with pro bono help to protect your interests.

omg you would not believe what iv been though with care giving !!!! reason why many people dont use agency's is cause they have to go by rules and regulations and pay out of the *ss to have a care giver, when they hire some one off the street they feel they are entitled to treat u like ur their own personal WHIPPING CHILD / SLAVE !!

i try to work for people who dont have a lot of family due to every one in the family wants to the boss and they all have diff reasons for why their way is better ,they are good at lips service but don't want to care for their loved one.
i had one client who starved his grand mother and it was unwritten rule that my pay would buy her food!!!! NOT!! so she lost a lot of weight!!!

yet another got pissy cause she wanted me to be at her beck and call as if i was a dog ..... come here puppy puppy attitude!!

two of them had a problem with me keeping my bed room door closed as if i was suppose to sleep with it open!!!NOT!!!!! they get so paranoid about what ur doing in ur room !!!!

yet another one got so jealous about me having a new iphone (she was 95 ) that she wrote a long letter to her gandson claiming all kinds of outrages lies about me!!! i found letter and confronted her of course she said she didn't write the letter!!!!! she also claimed i was keeping her from her G/s which i wasn't, he lived just 2 doors down and he didn't want to be bothered with her !! they are allays quick to blame you for any and every thing that goes wrong be it house or their loved one !!

god for bid you want time off of any kind oh noooooooooo !!!
often the kids don't even realize how awful they come off to caregivers. I'm not making excuses, I live both sides of it. I'm a HHA part time and care for my mom. Try to let it go without letting it affect you. They are looking for a target to loose all their fears and anger on. If it gets too bad ask them how they think it would work better? Sometimes I get so offended by family members with poor people skills that I just want to scream. But that won't help so I just stay quiet and pretend I still work with two year olds

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