What a confusing day!

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Today started out like most days. We had a visit from the BC/BS doctor today, though. They come by occasionally and ask lots of questions so they can report back to the insurance company. Of course, I have to be there, since I need to answer many of the questions. The home "appointment" lasts about an hour and it is solid questions -- very tiring for someone with dementia. The answers get more wrong as the time wears on, so ultimately I end up answering all the questions. What fun.

I guess it started the day off wrong and my mother couldn't get back on track the rest of the day. She started confabulating one thing after another. She said how she was glad the doctor hadn't made her get in bed and move her legs around like she did last time. That never happened, so I don't know where that memory came from. I let it go, because it was okay if she believed it.

Last Thursday she hurt her arm -- a cut with a bruise, nothing major. I have no idea how she did it. She said she hit it on her potty seat. We went to Urgent Care last Friday just to make sure it was okay. They said no problem, and said to keep a bandage on it a couple of days. Mom has been obsessed with it since then, wrapping and rewrapping it, getting me to cut new wraps and telling me how to do it, going through a lot of money worth of bandaging material. The place looks fine. I told her that she didn't need a bandage anymore -- that it had been six days now. She said it was just the day before yesterday it happened. I insisted six days, since enough was enough. She later came into my room and said it had happened on Labor Day, when she had wanted me to take her somewhere, but I got mad and said no, and she got so upset she hit the door and hurt her arm. She remembered it so clearly. All I could say is that never happened.

On Labor Day I took her out to lunch, then took her shopping. We had a very good day.But somehow she has put together this make-believe day with me as a bad guy that made her hurt herself. Sheesh! I'm starting to think I should wear one of the camera pendants that takes pictures every few seconds so I can prove my innocence.

My mother also decided today that I should marry a guy I went out with yesterday. Oh, lord! She said he had money and I should latch on. I told her that would be using a person and it was wrong. She told me that it wasn't a sin to use people, that sometimes you had to in order to get by. Poor Dad! I always wondered if that is why she married him. There certainly didn't seem to be a lot of love there.

Pardon the book. There is a lot of psychological stuff going on right now. My nerves are shot.Thanks for letting me talk it out.


i work almost exclusively for people with money. many of them have some scary problems. a guy who lives under a bridge may be more well balanced and loving. glad your learning to let moms delusional notions slide jesse. if you try to be the voice of reason youll just become the enemy and a mentally ill person can be so convincing that they could have you dragged off backwards..
I hope when you look back at these conversations you laugh, because that's about all you can do.

A new season will be upon us soon and my Mom still doesn't know this one we're in now is Summer! Good grief!
Funny you say that, Capn. This man I went out with is so hyper and aggressive that I know he is the last person in the world I should be with. I need a quiet spirit who likes good music and movies. Emotional security is much more important to me than financial.

assandache, I can feel that my mother is going into a new phase of her dementia. It is concerning that her confabulations are tending to cast me in the bad guy role. She is starting to want more from me than I can give. She's after me now to take her to the beach. It would be a nightmare for me. The beach is about 8 hours away and she wouldn't be able to walk on the sand. Plus she has to go to the bathroom every few minutes and won't wear protective undergarments. Plus I have two rabbits, one that is old and dying at the moment and both that are special needs. I told her that she should ask my brother to take her, and she thought that was outrageous that I should even think that. The truth is that I know she would want to come back home almost as soon as we got there. I told her we could go to a local lake instead -- easier to walk on dirt than sand and only a couple of hours away.

What would make the most sense is for me to go to the beach or mountains and leave her here. But the rabbits can't travel, so here I am (a triple caregiver).

My dad didn't have dementia and caring for him in my home was the most difficult thing I've ever done. Time and time again when I read posts here written by people like yourself who are caring for a parent with dementia I wonder how you do it. I can't even imagine.....

You're very special and your mom is very fortunate to have you. I'm sorry that you are becoming the villain in your mom's memories. It's sad and it must be very frustrating for you. My dad acquired hepatic encephalopathy from cirrhosis near the end of his life and it affected his mind. I got just a glimpse of what it was like to care for someone with dementia. But he was in a NH by that time and I got to go home at the end of the day. You don't have that luxury.

I'm glad you vented and I just wanted to tell you that I heard you. Bless you, Jessie.

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