Overwhelmed by the future.
In an outburst this past weekend my mom screamed at us, "I don't care WHAT you think, I will NEVER go into a nursing home!"
She's quite secretive about the status of her health, but based on this outburst I take it that her COPD is progressing. And it got me thinking about what the future may hold when her lungs really start to fall apart.
I have absolutely no idea how we're going to manage her care. Mom had me late in life. She's 85, but I just turned 40. I've got a toddler at home. A fairly new mortgage. A full time job I can't afford to walk away from. A husband. A life. And it's all 2 hours away from her.
How am I going to be in two places at once when the time comes (out with her and home with my child)? Yes, I have an obligation to her care. But I also have an obligation to taking care of my child. I feel like I need to choose one or the other.
So I started thinking about moving her out to be with us....
Our house layout is not designed for a sick person. For starters, you've gotta climb 20 stairs to get to our front door. A wheel chair would never fit through the bathroom doorway. We have a 5 room home: kitchen, sunken living room (3 steps down to the living room), 2 bedrooms. That's it.
And the only people out near us, is us. The rest of mom's friends and family are back where she lives - which is why she refused to move out to live with us when we started house shopping.
I can't afford to hire a caregiver for her. She won't sell her house and has no money of her own for hiring help.