Caregiver vs family issues.

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don't make promises you cant or wont keep ! the care giver is very aware You didn't follow through on your verbal / written deal ! even if they say nothing they know!! they are just waiting their time till a better jobs comes along !!

Don't expect caregiver to eat food that has been sitting in your cabinets / refrigerator for weeks / years and then act like its nothing.

Don't buy sh**y food and expect the caregiver to be ok with it, junk food and shotty food that is on the brink of expiring that u bought at the discount store wont do ! the C/G will throw it out behind your back cause its not eatable !!!!

dont wait weeks to buy groceries expecting the caregiver to buy their own food along with buying food for your loved one..... when u are trying to save your self money..... the caregiver will not by your loved one food when they have bills to pay instead, your loved one will go with out believe me I know!!

the care giver makes 6 meals a day with 3 or more snacks between meals for them and the loved one they are caring for .....it adds up !!

if you said you were going to give board / food as package deal do it !! don't try to bail out on it !! yes food is expensive but you cant expect the C/G to eat crap or do you ?

don't get paranoid when C/G is just browsing in ur cabinets / refrigerator to see what they can eat its ok dont be scared they are just looking !!

ONE OF THE MAIN BONES OF CONTENTION...> IS FOOD, WHEN IT COMES TO CARE GIVING !!!

Ill have insight later on other issues care givers and families seem to have problems with.

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Gypsy, I was not doubting your knowledge, just mentioning this is common,,, But saying that, I do feel you need to be more accepting of the person you are being paid to care for. It is thier house, after all...
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It's that 'good enough for who it's for' attitude that is so incredibly insulting, Gypsy. I feel for you, and I'm ashamed for people who can treat other people that way. Disgusting.
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and oh yea dont expect care giver to eat crap that's been sitting in your refrigerator for weeks !!! I wont give it to the person im caring for im afraid they get sick !!
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cwille yes i understand what your saying .... i eat mostly salads and some kind of cheese bread and yogurt.... Im not into fancy foods or starches ... so its not like I'm asking for gourmet food.just healthy !!

just dont buy meat that is aged with it all ready going dark inside of it or on the edge of it or milk that rots days later !! don't expect C/G to feed ur loved one that!!
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Pam yes I'm aware feeling cold is very common among seniors.

just thought i ask along with giving another idea of why iv ur loved one may feel cold but who am I. NO one.... just a care giver !!
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I guess it all depends on the relationship between the caregiver and the family. My mother's 4 day a week caregiver has a debit card and she does all of Mom's grocery shopping with it so if she doesn't like the food, she can only blame herself. I trust her and she has never abused that trust.

My 1 day a week caregiver brings her own food with her since she is gluten free and we are not.

But, the big way the relationship differs is that the main caregiver is like family to us and has run of our side of the house (but she respects our privacy and rarely enters) while the secondary caregiver is an employee and the door separating the two sides of the house is locked when she is there.

We don't give her bad food or treat her badly but we have different relationships with the two women.
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Nope, her health is fine for an 86 year old, just had bloodwork dne for annual. My BFFs 78 year old hubs is the same way, and both my ILs,, it's common for alot of elders...
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Pam could your loved one be iron deficient?
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Church mouse thank you for responding !!!

love the way you described the food your sister bought!!
sounds like your sister didn't want to pay out much money for your moms well being but thought it would make her look good in your mom and family eyes!!

(oh look i bought our mom groceries aren't I a good daughter!! ) syndrome!

One gig i had the daughter bought lots of food but food we never ate (it was disgusting old food that she bought on sale that the store wanted to get rid of.) or bought to much food that we didn't need and would rot....

she was stacking up on flyer miles!! her dad would write her out a check for cost and she got the flyer miles in process of it ! she had no idea I knew but i knew! her motivation !!
as months went by the family was concerned about the checks their dad was writing out for food .... my hands were tied i could not expose their sister for what she was doing !!!

basically daughter was scamming family and her dad to stack up on flyer miles!!

I have spoke to family about certain matters in a mild manner but they didnt get it !! old habits are hard to change

I have found care givers get little respect when voicing their opinion on anything !! they teat you as if ur uneducated and know nothing!!

i often wonder why they hired me due to the way they seem to treat me as if in useless im suppose to sit there and say nothing, just listen to them and then once they deiced to walk away im free to go lol

its as if im house slave for them !! with no life of my own
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i had to laugh about bundling up your cold elder.. my mom wears so many layers she looks like a snowman! And she has a big amish style heater by her seating area .. she's still cold...LOL We just dress lighter...
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