I'm feeling so trapped and resentful. I want my life back.
I have been my father-in-law's caregiver for two and a half years and I honestly do not think I can take much more. The hospice nurse feels that he has possibly six to eight weeks left, but she jokingly said that he could be here another year. He has end stage copd/emphysema.
I do not love my father-in-law and he is so manipulative that I just end up resenting him more everyday.
I am at the point of just doing what I need to do. Every suggestion I have made, i.e., sitters, medical alert system, hospice volunteers, he has just refused. He receives a decent check every month, so he could afford this, no problem.
He tries to micro manage everything I do. I am so stressed out that my doctor put me on Klonopin. I am always sick to my stomach, headaches, body aches.
My husband works in Landscaping ( more hours in spring and summer ) and now has started to spend every saturday with his son and now wants to spend week ends at his cousin's horse farm.
I just feel that they both are treating me unfairly.
I have not had a paycheck in over two years and my clothes are literally falling to pieces. I am use to working, and having my own income. I cannot remember the last time I have had anything new, or even had my hair cut.
I am really trying not to sink into self pity, but I am just so angry! My father-in-law gives me $20 a week for all the work I do.
I just feel like running away.
The last time I broached the subject of getting more help from my husband, he exploded and stormed out of the house.
He is not my father and I know my husband should do more. even when he is home, he is either working in the yard or on the computer.
As more time goes by, I dislike the way my husband is handeling this and I have lost some respect for him. I feel this whole expierence may ruin my marriage.
What else can I do? I am at my wits end.