The future and how it frightens me.

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How do I reconcile the fact that I am 57 years old and must begin a brand new life as if I was a 20 something straight out of university? When all of my friends and acquatances are retiring to a comfortable life, I must start out brand new with an old body and old brain. In this economy I would be competing with 20 somethings with MA's and Phd's with fresh, bright, quick to learn new brains, while I only have a BA and a middle aged brain which has been burdened so long as a caregiver? If I were an employer I wouldn't hire me either and so I don't blame them. I cannot realistically compete with the young people. I cannot fantasize that I would get a good paying job, but only one that hopefully can only pay the rent, food, toilet paper, the necessities of life, never mind any type of small luxury--like expensive ice cream like Breyers would be a luxury.

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57 is not too old if you have (or regain) your health. I know a 50 plus lady who went back for a masters and has a new teaching career, and since I was only 40 something at the time I met her (was one of her students) I didn't appreciate what a challenge that actually was when she mentioned it in passing. She was a very good teacher so none of us thought the age was a big deal, and didn't really appreciate what she had to overcome. Learning IS slower when you're fifty plus but believe me it can still happen. I can speak a little Spanish now, enough to get started with a patient before the interpreter arrives, and I'm having to learn genomics which is one steep learning curve. Be patient with yourself and allow more time and more repetitions for that poor aging brain and you can still acheive your goals.

What's the difference between intelligence and wisdom? About 40 years. (You have experience and maturity the 20 somethings lack.) You may be down on yourself (I'm guessing from the "I wouldn't hire me" comment) or even depressed enough/still recovering enough that a grief group or counselor if there is anything free or affordable would be good.

Take care of yourself physically too, it will make a big difference - pick any kind of exercise you like and can do, start where you are, and go on from there...don't even worry if you can't do a 15 minute mile to start with, just check with yoru doc and see if you can get started swimming, doing Tai Chi, walking any pace, any distance if that's the case.

Let us know what you decide to be when you grow up (as my son still asks me sometimes :-), and how it all goes, OK?
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((((lefaucon)))) You are young. I am 75 and wondering about getting some part time work - more to get out with more people than anything else. I am also in a serious relationship with a man and it scares me silly to think of making a committment.again. Big changes are difficult, and more so when we have some "history" behind us..However experience does teach us some things. You have lots of skills. I taught at a college, and we loved the middle aged women. They had such wonderful work ethics. Research shows that the "older" mind may not be able to do somethings as quickly, but it does not make a practical difference, and the older person has other things they do better. My dear, nothing wrong with your brain., I love what you described about your hair. About 5 years ago I reinvented my appearance , and got more attention than I had in years - hence the sig other now. You have a whole new life ahead of you, burgundy hi-lites new make up, and more. Go for it girl! This is an adventure! (((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))
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Scared of the future? You bet I am! I am 61 years old, a widow and caring for my 87 year old mother in her home. She requires constant care and I cannot seek employment for fear that her dementia could cause her to fall or forget to turn off the stove. Like all of the other caregivers here, we ourselves are not young anymore, and it is frightening to think about starting over again when your loved one passes away. Reassessing the skills we once had and a bold step of faith is required for this extremely tough challenge particularly in our shrinking economy. In my situation, I am equally worried about where I am going to live as my mother took out a Reverse Mortgage on her home 5 years ago. After researching the net and talking to mortgage counselors, my only option would be to pay the bank back in full (like $268,000.00) and who in the world has this kind of money? I try to think of ways to make income from home but know there are many scams out there trying to suck me in to lose what little money I have. Both my mother and I have no assets and tho I am not on the deed of her home, the most viable option I have is to try and sell the home As Is, and pray for the best. At least this will buy me 4-12 months to figure out what I am going to do. The best way I handle all of this fear and anxiety is by attending church and praying, trusting that God will provide for me since I have followed his commandment of taking care of my parent. God's promises have never failed me or my mother as His protection for us is amazing. Even though I stay up at night and cry with worry and fear, I know when the time comes, God will give me the wisdom I need to carry out what needs to be done. So have faith, that God will meet your need to return to work....just begin today to ask Him to guide you and research your options. Good luck to all of us.
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Dear Aleeta,
I am going to Mac to get a whole new makeup session!!! Thank you for your uplifting advice!!
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My love and affection to all of you who have responded to my question. And yes, I realize now that I am cuttting myself too short and putting myself down--thru the depression I guess. But all the advice I've received above are things that I never even thought of and I am happy that I put my posted question out there to all of you. I acutally feel more confident and assured of myself. Baby steps, as one of you loved ones said to me. And yes, I did go out and have my hair shaped, trimmed, colored and even highlighted a beautiful burgundy color and it looks marvelous!!
My love and gratitude to all of you wonderful women and men out there who truly understand and care. God bless all of you!! My love, lefaucon.....
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You sound depressed and you are being so hard on yourself. It definitely is hard to begin again, but first I would get yourself to a doctor, have a full medical work up and make sure you are taking good care of yourself. Eat well, walk every day or do something physical to get your juices flowing.
I was much younger, but when my kids were little my ex husband and I divorced. I found out he'd been cheating on me most of our marriage. He never said anything nice to me. then he put all our money in a Swiss bank account! I had a hard time taking a compliment and if someone gave me one, I was the first person to say why I or 'it' wasn't a big deal. So I decided to cut that out right away. I just said 'thank you'. I figured perhaps they saw something that I didn't and I was going to go with that.
It is all baby steps. All our lives, whenever we have to start over.
You may not be 'feeling it' but just DO it and you mind will and can follow. You don't need a giant career right away. You just need to start.
Babyboomers - this is a fact - have been raised better (sorry to say!) than most of our kids' generation. We were not spoiled rotten, not given everything we ever wanted and have experience. But you have to believe you are a catch - to a new love or to an employer - to actually be one. Do the work and take it a day at a time. Much luck.
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Oh, and even though, when you were caregiving for a family member, it was still a "job" and you would want to put that on your resume. Please please please don't think negatively, it will likely come out in an interview....in your mind....pump yourself up!! ♥
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I was thinking the same thing as one of the others that posted, and that is that you've got plenty of experience as a caregiver, and there are people that hire a 1 on 1 caregiver, if you enjoyed the caregiving experience, that might be a place to start.
Walmart, Kohl's, Ross, Target etc. hires those of us that are in our 50's, and I would thing that right now is a good time to get hired, being that it's almost the Christmas shopping season.
Good luck and one thing you need to do before and during and interview, is think positive and tell yourself that you're a capable, hard working woman. Go online and search out to write a good resume and how to do a good job interview. And most of all...good luck!!!
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I am almost 50 lost my job got in school. I was working on an AS degree and got a fulltime job for seven weeks when found out my mom had dementia. I went to help her and lost my job both full and part time. I lost my mom to non profit in South Florida and now can only talk to her on the phone I cant afford to visit her I am states away. Because of her money they are seperating me the child from my mother in what small amount of time we could be sharing together before she totally forgets me. If you get to go to school do so. Today there are all ages going to school. I had people in their 60 in class as well as 19. Be grateful for the time you had as a caretaker. Now have time for you
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Just a thought -- get a new hair style, highlights, a manicure, and maybe make-up advice. I think it might lift your spirits and give you more self-confidence as you venture out.
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