I'm running out of steam, this is a long vent.

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Mom has frontal lobe Alzehemiers her mental status is better but her physical status is declining . I'm a RN and I specialized in Rehab Physical so I thought I could handle this . She weighs 250lbs and is max max assist , she hasnt always been like this just recently, she has Physical Therapy , ocupational therapy and a CNA and I have a grant for a care giver from the Alzehemiers Association. But at the end of the day and begining of the day it's mom and me she will not stand for me I get her in a standing position and she sits down ughhhhh it kills me ! I get angry and then feel guilty . But she will not do anything you ask her to she says no ! I really have no body my sister died at age 49 years old of a heart attack in 2013 , my brother in calif is. No help. It took me an hour of begging having a hissy fit then I played the good cop to please try to stand up oooooohhhhhh nooooooooshe would push aganist me when I tried to stand her. She told me to stop trying to make her stand it hurts her ......well hey I'm no spring chicken im 52 and have arthritis .., she just tells me to stop hurting her .... Ughhhhh. So finally after an hour of begging pleading being nice being nasty I gave up I went and got her wheel chair , she got right up and pivoted in it .. Oh yes she did Oh yes I was beyond. mad omg she played me ugh .. Then she got into bed because she didn't wasnt to go to the bathroom to be changed and I was to tired in pain and exhausted to care so I put her to bed what happened next ??? I ended up rolling her side to side to change her I couldn't leave her like that, and then she got mad because I had to hold her over to change her diaper , I said " mom your a retired RN you know I have to roll you over and hold you so I can pull your clean pants on !!" She said things have changed since she was a nurse and I'm to rough .. Needless to,say I told her i cannot take care of her at home because she is max assist and 2 people need to lift her and she will end up being a hoyer lift pt if I send her to a memory care unit and to,stay home she must walk be mobile because I can't take care of her at home I am all alone and I can't do it ! I told her I love her and want to keep her home but it's not possible and I may place her in the next couple months ...... I went to my room and bawled I love her and will miss her and I don't know what I'll do without her....whew there's my vent thank you for listening !


Oh, are you certain that your mom doesn't have a broken hip or pelvis? Being an RN, you know how easy it is for an elder to break something even without a fall. If she is in pain, won't stand for you, etc, says you're too rough, I would get her to hospital via 911 for xrays to check this out. I've been through this with my mom, she fell, they xrayed everything and said all was fine. A few days later, she was very much not herself, weepy, angry and paranoid about the physical therapist, who fortunately noticed that she was not actually bearing weight on one leg. Sure enough, her hip was broken. We had the docs go back and look at the previous films and there was no clear break on them, so who knows when it happened.

Dementia patients are notoriously bad at identifying pain. I would have this checked out.
ohmeowzer, it sounds like she is too much for you to handle alone now. You do need help. I hope that you find a very good place for her. I know you can't go on living like this. Huge hugs! I know how much this is hurting you.

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