My son and I were living with Mom, working and helping out financially, when she got sick. I quit my job, thinking it would be temporary. It wasn't. Her care needs increased to the point where I can't get her out of the bed or chair to go to the commode by myself. I can't count on my son to help, because he needs to work and sleep. We need his income, and he has the right to a life.
I tried getting her into a nursing home on Medicaid. The hospital said the home we selected took patients on Medicaid pending, but they don't. Right now Medicare is paying 100%, but that is ending soon. If we send her to a home that does accept Medicaid pending, they will take her checks and we will not be able to continue paying the bills on Mom's house, so we will have to let it go to foreclosure. If I bring her home, she will have to stay in bed all the time, because I can't physically move her by myself. Plus, Mom wants to go home. She hates the nursing home. They have her on pureed food and thickened liquids, and most of the time she refuses to eat or drink.
Right now we are planning to bring her home. Her care will be less than she is getting in the home, and her condition will deteriorate. If we get the Medicaid we will able to hire aides, which will make it better for both Mom and me, but there will be a penalty because I have been paying my credit card bills with Mom's money (at her request). We will have to increase the home equity line of credit to pay for the aides until the penalty is taken care of, which will increase the monthly payment to the point where we will not have enough money to pay it. Then when Mom dies, her income will stop, so we will not be able to pay the bills on the house until I get a job, and in this economy who knows how long that will take? Not to mention the fact that Medicaid will probably force the sale to get their money back.
I am worried all the time about what will happen to us when Mom dies. I want to get a job so I can at least have a chance at getting an apartment, but I can't do that right now and it is driving me crazy. I should mention that neither my son or I has high earning potential. I fear we have a serious chance of becoming homeless at some point in the future and I don't know what to do about it. It is tearing me up inside to the point where sometimes I just want to run away.