I had to move into my Dad's 1 bedroom condo 15 months ago after a health crisis.

Started by

5 Comments

Sorry...did your posting get cut off? I'm sure you meant to say more or ask a question??
Whose health crisis? Yours or his? More info please.
Yes. It said to write a title. Then no place for content.
My Dad was found on the floor collapsed, undressed, he had phnumonia, was extremely anemic, and a mild heart attack. He would have died, but for a neighbor who gave me her phone number to check on him.
My dad also had cancer, not discovered until Oct. last year. They radiated it. He's also VERY hard of hearing, has the tv so loud I can't stand being in the same room, and this is a1bdrm, condo. Also, there was about 20+ yrs. of filth and spiders, plus a nasty bird cage on a card table where he read the paper. (He's been an asthmatic for 49 yrs, and has COPD , prostate problems and congestive heart failure.
He is doing very well now, just tired. He's 87 and rides his bike .
As for me, I moved out at 18. We were never close, but now I have a relationship. I just need some time for myself. I have ddd- degenerative disk disease, and suffered an achillies tendon repair. I'm used to quiet, I am the creative type who likes to get lost in my projects. My supplies are in the corners, hidden away for the most part. When we cleaned this condo, there were canned goods and food like eggs 8-10 years old. It's a miracle there were no roaches, just spiders everywhere. Dad is too active and fierce about his independence. he said if he went in a home he'd kill himself. His mother lived to be 100. The neurologist said he does not have alzh.,just a shriveled brain from old age. He can't be alone anymore, and knows it. My only social life is a knit and crochet group once a week. Other than that, he wants to go everywhere with me. I can't even take out the trash by myself. I'm sick of being in a choke-hold . If I slip out for a few hours, he has the neighbors call me. Sometimes I am just wanting to Scream,,, "Leave me alone!!!!"
Thank You for listening. Karen
Does he rent or own the condo? Have you giving up your own place? Where did you live before this medical crisis? What about an independent living situation for him? If you plan to cooperate with his idea of not going "into a home", how about upgrading to a two bedroom condo. If his doctor thinks he could live in a facility and you live with him for 2 years, preventing him from needing to go into a home, the house would be protected from Medicaid recovery. The two of you should see a NAELA attorney for better planning. At the very least, you need a healh POA and a durable financial POA.
Carolyn, my Dad's condo is paid for. I'm the sole beneficiary, we are on a Joint Tenency Deed. The place will transfer directly to me. I was living with my Mom, after my leg injury. We are living on $1511.00 per month, and I make a few dollars on-line.
He won't up-grade. We would have to sell and take on mortgage we can't afford.
I just liquidated the $15,000 in mutual funds- to his checking account. I'm understanding that he cannot have more than $2,100.00 cash assets to qualify for any respite care, or for me to be paid as his caregiver. He lets me pay all the bills.
He has no debts.
Also, I am going to arrange his final expenses now that finances are there. I'm really only concerned if the condo will be garnished if he is placed anywhere.
Even though it has been my legal residence for over 1 year. I was told to go to Social Security to apply for payment for me. Haven't done that- I forgot.
I really would love that 2bdrm, but the values here are on the moderately high end.

Keep the conversation going (or start a new one)

Please enter your Comment

Ask a Question

Reach thousands of elder care experts and family caregivers
Get answers in 10 minutes or less
Receive personalized caregiving advice and support