Monday I was crying at the breakfast table. Sunday, I had inadvertently doubled Dad's flomax dose. The guilt was killing me. Early monday morning I woke Dad to take his Parkinson pill, so that the side effects would wear off, and he would be alert for his rehab appt. He start giving me the same gruff I listen to three times a day. I lost it. I let him have it. Take the pills, don't take the pills I don't care. yadda, yadda, yadda. Later, I sat at the breakfast, in despair, tears rolling down my face. My Sister walked in the room. I must have shocked her. I never cry, Due to a brain injury, I am just not very emotional. I told her "I just don't think I can do this anymore".
She looked me in the eye, and said no one asked me to do this. I agreed, I stated I didn't think my 6 siblings would just dump it all on me. She said she would move Dad to her house. I replied she would hate it; Dad would hate it. Plus her health concerns would preclude her from doing this 24/7. Long story short, she said even the lowest paid worker gets two days off. So starting this week she will be here Tuesday and Wednesday. Arrive 7am leave 8pm, unless I wanted her to stay overnight. She handles the entire two days.
I have a life again. I called my friend. I went to lunch. We toured a museum. I took a long drive. I feel like the weight of the world has been lifted. Helen and I are in this together. I thank everyone on this site. Your advice and encouragement is what kept me afloat, during terrible days of despair. Thank you, Thank you, thank you.