Lost my patience.
I'm the sole caregiver for my 83-year old mom (my brother passed in 2003 and my dad passed in 1999). I have found more patience in myself than I ever thought I had. I lost that patience last week while visiting. I believe she has dementia, she has no short-term memory, does not want outside help, refuses to go to a doctor. In July I visited her to take her car away (she lives 3 hours away by plane). I know I'm dealing with a 3 year old, but I still let her break me down last week. She has awesome neighbors who take her to the store anytime she wants but she still wanted a scooter to get to the store in case she forgets something. She and I argued about it and I had had enough so I took her to get a scooter, resigning myself that she will kill herself on it. I'm mad at myself for losing my patience, for giving in, for helping her buy the scooter, for not getting over it before I flew back home.... Every time I want to scream or cry, I can't because I have to be strong and be the adult in this relationship. Today the tears are starting and I'm afraid I won't be able to stop them.