Determned to keep myself strong and balanced.
Alzheimer's is an insidious opponent. Last night I made a vow to myself to have a restful night's sleep despite this life as a caregiver. It almost worked. And then at 4 in the morning, I hear this cry and thump. My heart racing I spring out of my bedroom to find my mother sprawled out against her bedroom door. This disease attacks not the just the afflicted, but we the caregivers in so many different ways we can never see what's coming.
She told me she got disoriented coming back from the bathroom and couldn't find her bed. She slammed against the door, pushing the door knob all the way into the wall. A cigarette and a drink immediately followed putting her back into bed. My mom is slowly killing me and doesn't know it. My therapist says "it's a gift to care for you rmother in her final days." I truly believe he doesn't know shit about what it's like to be someone in our situation.