Follow
Share
Read More
Find Care & Housing

7K Comments

Newest
First Oldest
First
1 2 3 4 5
If you ever feel lonely, just dim the lights and put on a couple of horror movies. You won’t feel so alone anymore.
(1)
Report
My wife has a whale tattooed on her butt. It used to be a dolphin.
(3)
Report
I’m always looking for a gal who has tattoos because I say to myself, Here’s a girl who isn’t afraid of making decisions that she will regret later.’
(1)
Report
Love and Snakes…

So my girlfriend decided to get a tattoo of a huge snake on her back. Do it, I said but it might hurt a little.

She said, “I know, but It’s only a needle.” I said, I meant being single afterwards.
(1)
Report
Why don’t you like my tattoos? At least I can cover them up.

Your face on the other hand…
(1)
Report
What is a gentleman? Someone who knows how to play the accordion but doesn’t.
(1)
Report
How do you get the trombonist off your porch? Pay him for the pizza.
(1)
Report
Relative minor - the guitarist’s girlfriend.
(1)
Report
Perfect pitch - when you throw a viola in the toilet and it doesn’t hit the sides.
(1)
Report
What do you call a guitarist who recently lost his girlfriend?

Homeless.
(2)
Report
Tuba player - Did you hear my last recital?

Friend - I hope so.
(1)
Report
Why are harps like elderly parents? Both are unforgiving and hard to place in cars.
(1)
Report
Sure, alcohol doesn’t solve anything but neither does milk.
(1)
Report
I’d agree with you but then we would both be wrong.
(1)
Report
Do you remember when I asked you for your opinion? Me neither.
(1)
Report
If you can’t laugh at yourself, I can help you out.
(0)
Report
Anything done before my first cup of coffee could be considered self defense.
(1)
Report
Thousands of years ago cats were worshipped as Gods. Cats have never forgotten this.
(1)
Report
The cat could very well be man’s best friend but would never stoop to admitting it.

Doug Larson
(1)
Report
Love is having a large close knit family in another city.

George Burns
(3)
Report
Thanks, ITRR
(1)
Report
Adults are always asking children what they want to be when they grow up because they are looking for ideas.

Paula Poundstone
(1)
Report
Happy anniversary Need.

I would like to say it is so nice to see others got to marry Mr. Right.


Is your husband's first name Always too?
(1)
Report
Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.

Jim Carrey
(1)
Report
Instead of getting married again, I’m going to find a woman that I don’t like and buy her a house.

Rod Stewart
(2)
Report
You do a great job with combing your hair. It’s amazing how you are able to hide your horns.
(1)
Report
It’s Spring.

Time for spring cleaning, which is good for all aspects of your life.

Time to clean out all the bullsh*t in your life!
(1)
Report
What is the most tear jerking season? Spring! Love is in the air and pollen too.
(2)
Report
So, I am married 46 years today! I have to include one about marriage, hehehe 😜

My husband and I have never considered divorce, murder sometimes, but never divorce.

Joyce Brothers
(3)
Report
Did you hear about Pillsbury Doughboy? He died of a yeast infection.
(3)
Report
1 2 3 4 5

Recent Questions


Popular Questions


Related Questions

Start a Discussion
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter