Jokes needed to lighten our day. Enter at your own risk!

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I decided to start a joke discussion because we as caregivers need our load lightened. We need to laugh at our own situations and those of others to take away the sting and pain we go through. If you have a joke that's racy then give a heads up at the beginning of your post for those who might not want to read your post. We need to avoid that kind of humor. Please don't come on this thread and berate anyone for their choices of humor. This is our place to let go of criticism. Thanks for sharing!!!! ;o)

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I tried to explain to my 4-year-old son that it's perfectly normal to accidentally poop your pants, but he's still making fun of me.
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Yes, that was Emo :)
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That was the wonderfully weird Emo Philips, wasn't it, FM? Brilliant tangents he went off on, I remember him fondly.
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A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kickboxing.
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When I was a girl, I had a disease that required me to eat dirt three times a day in order to survive... It's a good thing my older brother told me about it.
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Wouldn't it be great if we could put ourselves in the dryer for 10 minutes and come out wrinkle free and three sizes smaller?
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You have to put this in a bathroom context:

What do mathematicians do when they get stuck?

They work it out with a pencil. If they get *really* stuck, they work it out with logs.
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I think I read that 5 times before I got it🙃
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How do you find Will Smith in the snow?

Look for Fresh Prince.
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Yesterday, a clown held the door open for me. It was such a nice jester!
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