In a major funk...so very tired of living for others.
In a major funk... my mom was injured when I was 11, so I took care of my brother until he graduated high school. Dad was on the railroad for WEEKS at a time, so I cooked, cleaned, did laundry, etc. All that time I was told I was worthless. When my brother left, I was disowned. 35 years later...suddenly I am no longer worthless, HOWEVER, my brother refuses to care for our parents, and once again I am cooking, cleaning, overseeing meds, dr. appts., physical therapy, telemarketers, car maintenance, did the dog pee on the carpet- or was it the imaginary pink elephant. So very bummed. I had 2 marriages, both crashed and burned. Dad is a remote pillar of ice (lord love him - very healthy at least) mom's family lives to be in their late 90's and older. great.
All I keep thinking, over and over again...will I be taking care of people forever? Will anyone take care of me? I.am.so.tired. only 50 years to go.
How do I take a week vacation, secure in the knowledge that if she burns down the house to eliminate the pink elephants, that my father & brother will actually help, instead of saying "she has to learn these things" "we can't wait on her hand & foot" "if we don't answer, she'll get over it".
so.very.tired. thank the Lord she doesn't know how to text. The bell is bad enough.