I recently had to place my mother in a nursing facility and I am feeling really guilty. Help!
My mom lived with me for the last three years. We had a caretaker during the day while I worked. Due to a malfunction in her swallowing mechanism, she had to get a peg tube for feeding. It is not anticipated that her condition will change, and she will probably always have the tube. I have found the feedings to be highly stressful for me and due to this, I placed her in a nursing home. I retained her caretaker to go to the home to be a "friendly companion" to her daily on weekdays, and I go see her for 1 1/2 hours every day after work. Her body functions fairly well, but she has a little dementia. She asks me to come home almost daily, and this is just breaking my heart. From everything the health care workers have said, I should be able to tube feed her at home, but it was simply too stressful for me. I want to do all I can for my mother, but I was not coping well with the tube feeding at home for the short time she was there. Her caretaker was also very nervous about it and would call me at work several times a day when we were trying to accomplish this at home. Weekends were nightmares, as I could no longer call on laypeople to come sit with her so my husband and I could leave home for a little R & R. I guess I am feeling selfish that I do not want her to return home. The nursing home that she is in is quite good and she is treated very well. She is currently in a rehab bed and soon I will need to make the decision to transfer her over to long term care or bring her home. I just don't feel I can bring her home and give her or myself any quality of life. Has anyone been here before? I could use some advice. Thank you.