My brother and SIL have been in town this week. My mother has been stressed to the max. When she first learned that they were coming in, she decided we needed a big feast. I told her that it wasn't Christmas or Thanksgiving. It was just brother and SIL coming for a visit. We didn't need to slaughter the fatted calf. We could just get a bucket of chicken and keep it simple. She got very angry at that idea and said we always have a big feast when they come -- not true. She pushed until I said okay, we'll have an early Memorial Day BBQ dinner.
It has been a week. She doesn't really want to be around them and has been telling them we can't do things because of me. What! She has been doing so many crazy things around the house that I am about to go crazy myself. Her schedule has flown out the window in her mind.
Today I was calculating the amount of ribs and BBQ chicken we would need to feed 15. I made the mistake of consulting with her. She got very upset with me that I was making things so difficult. She didn't understand why we just couldn't get a bucket of chicken. SCREAM! I told her it was what I had wanted to do, but she had wanted a feast. She told me that never happened and that I was spending all of her money. I resisted the impulse to say I would pay for everything again. She is going to foot the bill this time. Period.
I went back to my room and finished the figuring of what was needed. I knew that if I included her in the plans, there would be nothing buy confusion and anger. And no matter what I would be the bad guy. The sad thing is that this happens every holiday and special occasion. I dread seeing family coming because I know it is going to be bad for me making all the plans and handling all the craziness. Sometimes my mother says that she is so nervous and tired. I want to comment that it must indeed make her tired watching me do everything. At least I'll get a 6-month break from it until Thanksgiving.